da punch

The Tiniest Mote of Dust

2011-10-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hi dogs, dawgz, and doggingtons,

(can someone please buy me a french bulldog already so that i can dress him up as a dragon for halloween?)

the last few posts have been terrible. Like, Terri Hatcher terrible.

On account of the recent business going on in our lives...
Here's just an indy-sample of what's going on.

Recent News: our new apartment is rather large, has a beautiful pool, and is across an apartment that used to house the Lakers basketball players, according to our bizarre, but very awesome, artisticly-inclined Sag-unionized photographer/painter cum Landlord. We are living with Robert England, our best guy friend, and one Jovo V. who happens to look and sound exactly like Aziz Ansari. I'd say it's an altogether win.

More Recent News: Kimberley is in a show in which she's getting paid and housed to perform at. Madison is working on a reality tv series for her celebrity gossip blog real-life-writing-job.

Even More Recent News than That: It's OKTOBER, as the germans would say. Happy Oktoberfest mein freunde!

-Kimberley and Madison (who is sleeping and has been since 8pm)

saving private ryan

2011-09-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

that last post was prettttty dumb. but only because i ran out of things to say and thought it would be best to spew out blabber than keep things quiet on the western front.

we've been busy, needless to say, having various little projects to occupy our existences. if this were livejournal, we'd be complaining in true emo fashion about how Todd, the hottie next door never asked us to prom, how mom bought us a frockish shirt that looks ridiculous and should never be worn by anyone ever, or how no one cares about anyone else but themselves because we are egoists and please sympathize with me so we can bond over our livejournal entries and feel the internet connecting us in ways that make us seem closer to one another but which only lack that human interaction we strived for in the first place. it's almost hypocritical to write these blaggings in the first place. to blog. to have blogged. to blag.

a. writing
b. auditioning
c. performing
d. working
e. reading
f. painting
g. eating
h. sleeping
i. meeting
j. moving

this is all you are going to get until we get our ducks in a row.

frizzle day

2011-08-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

The lot of you might be wondering lately "WHY DID MADI GET A SEPARATE TWITTER ACCOUNT?". what next? separate BLOGS?
and i'm terribly sorry...you'll have to ask madison herself.
we are still roomates. bffs. best gullies fo' lyfe...but the water is rising and our island of ridiculousthingsbestfriendsdotogether is slowly sinking. like venice...but heartshaped (she also threw out the matching bracelets i bought her so now half of the ship is missing..."friend" is floating in the toilet)

on My end, i will answer emosk8rkevin, 14 from Kentucky's question: "Who started it all anyway? Also where's the best place to buy sick trucks for my board?"

Well Kevin, I am the glorious creator/namer of both dapunch and of our twitter account . ... you're welcome.

KingCharles 54 of La Cienega asks: WHY kimberley? whyyy?

Good King Charles (if that is your REAL name) It was yet another lonely night in the crib waiting for maddie to come home. i was in front of old Dino, my pink vaio laptop, eating bitesized pizzapockets fresh from the microwave and wondering how many hours had passed since she'd left for work...that damned thing that makes you money. outside the sun seemed to instantly turn to moon. tired of waiting and in hopes of instant communication with the one i call DOG, i set up the JOINT twitter. then the JOINT blog. and my fascination with all things JOINT led to a bankaccount and the rest is history.

i mean TOTAL STRANGERS started sending large sums ($ well in the 1000's) to nondescript locations in black briefcases bedazzled with blood diamonds that spelled out "kimandmadz", it was as if the gods (we only subscribe to hephaestus, god of fire and juno, teen pregnancy character played by actress ellen page) were smiling upon us.

dogbonelover44 asks "are your feelings hurt?"

well dogbonelover--not really. maddie rarely tweeted, and when she did it was always about "dance class with somegirl aka not me" or "celebrity gossip" and "whatnot" so the only thing i'll miss is the anonymity joint-tweeting allowed us. now you'll KNOW it's me tweeting unless maddie happens to bombard the tweetstream with hobgob nonsense.

and strangely enough, our following went up by 1 twit after she left...so let's hope it's all uphill from hereafter!

that's all the time i have to respond to your questions today folks. it's been real. OH and before i forget, Kevin-- a good place to buy skateboard anything is at Flipside. I buy all my decks, waxes, griptapes, etc there...if you're close to Pacudah, Kentucky. and if you're single, there's bound to be an emogirl working the front registers for you...

PUNCH-ON
Kimberley

dont try to sell me that!

2011-06-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

this is why you don't answer the door to strangers because on the other side will stand an out-of-breath highschool girl trying to sell you a subscription to USA Today and even though you explain to her that USA Today isn't a real newspaper she tells you that it will help her go to a school like UCLA one day so she asks if you would like to make a donation instead and because your parents made you go to church when you were younger this out-of-breath girl is making you feel guilty so you say hold on one minute and look for your purse but you don't feel that guilty anymore and you're not sure that you trust this out-of-breath girl, so you apologize and say you're going to close the door for a minute and you wonder if she'll think that you just found a way to get rid of her even though you are actually looking for your purse and you find your purse but you only have one dollar and you lost you checkbook 6 months ago anyways and you wonder if giving one dollar is worse than just keeping the door shut and hoping she walks away and this thought takes up the span of oh about 27 seconds and you say fuck it and go back out to the front door and the girl is still standing there beaming and she's not out of breath anymore and you say here you go and hand her the dollar and start to shut the door because the interaction is making you feel guilty again and the girl calls you "Miss" and that makes you feel old and then as you shut the door and head back to your room to continue reading the elitist memoir bullshit that you like to read so much you hear the doorbell of your neighbors house ring and a familiar voice chime out "Sorry to bother you but…"

-something that happened to me just now. the boring life of madi v.

"June is busting out all over"

2011-06-28T02:12:00.000-07:00

I'd like to start this post off with a "Hello there. How have you been? It's been awhile hasn't it?" I've been reading up on a few different bouquins...mostly old plays that I once performed aka "The Heiress", "Steel Magnolias", "The Dining Room", and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", and more specifically, I've been reading them aloud.

That is to say, if one were to happen upon my room en route to the "main" bathroom, they would hear me speaking in different accents, voices, and characters. I'd seem a bit schizo to the passerby, but it's good to get into a groove and read the words of the playwright in the way they were supposed to be read.

I am also reading Tina Fey's "Bossy Pants" (which finally got to me, as Madison originally made the purchase and the book made the usual "roomate rounds" and I was last out of the four of us to receive it)--you can tell how poor our apartment is when we start to ration our book time. I'm also slowly getting through Marlon Brando's autobiography "Songs My Mother Taught Me", Marcel Proust's biography "Monsieur Proust" en francais, and lastly, a book that I absolutely love yet have been trudging through due to various external activities that have taken up most of my time, "What's Mine is Yours: Collaborative Consumption". You can guess what that one's about.

In regards to the telly, it is all "internet" and "my usual British shows" (aka The Inbetweeners, Misfits, Skins, Shameless, AbFab, Posh Nosh, Doctor Who) or the ever so classy "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" ...the latter being influenced by my girly roomates.

I've also started (now featured on Hulu.com) "The Book Group", an English comedy about a small book group that gets together and discusses whatever book they've chosen for the week--aka their messed up personal lives. So far it seems decent, though i've only watched the pilot episode and you-know-how-that-sort-of-thing-can-go.

Job-wise, Madison is now working at a gossip blog. She's finally putting the pen to the paper and though it may not be the wga-winning script she'll one-day write, it's a great start. And she's good at that "pop-culture, gossipy stuff". I would never have known about Blake Lively and whatshisface from the Titanic if it weren't for her. Oh. Leonardo DiCaprio. That's right.

On my end, I am about to travel to France for the third time in my life. I've quit my part-time serving job to pursue my full-time acting job, but i've kept my other part-time job at the Academy so that I can make some money while traveling this seemingly suicidal yet only worthy career path I have chosen for myself. Call it insanity, what you will, my plan is to finish up the play I'm in (oh yes, I'm also in a play which ends early July), go to Paris and truly live for a month, and then come back to L.A. and commit myself fully to get what needs to be done, done.

June gloom has been exiled from our apartment. It's all about the June buchachi, referring to the title of this post as this song lyric is not so subtly perverse. Yes, Rogers and Hammerstein, i'm talking to you! This was a real nice clam bake until you riddled your entire musical with sexual connotation...Polliwogs never turning into frogs?... My Boy BILL?--please tell June, from me, to stop busting out all over the meadow and the hills! It's disgusting and frankly my darlings, I could do without it.

Come see my play this weekend and the next, as posted via our joint twitter account that I secretly set up a few years back against Maddie's wishes, but which she now secretly enjoys because she gets the perks of tweeting without all of the responsibility . If not...I'll see you when I get back from France, if I do not end up staying there for the rest of my life.

A+++
Kimberley

The main differences between college and not college

2011-05-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

Earlier in 2011, Kimberley wrote a humbling post about the trials and tribulations of doing this whole "following-your-dreamz-being-an-adult-thing." So now, it's my turn. In true to Maddie fashion (i.e. avoiding having emotions, turning something serious into something silly) here's my attempt at the "meow-here's-my-feelings-on-post-grad-euphoria" blog.

I give you, The Main Differences between College and NOT College.

In college you might hear this conversation on a Thursday night.

Person A: "It's Thursday. Wanna go to Bruco?"

Person B: "omigod I haven't been drunk since Tuesday. Yessssss. Hold on, I need to buy an American Apparel slut dress first."

In NOT college, you might hear this phrase on a Thursday night.

Person A: "It's Thursday, what are we doing?"

Person B: "Well, I have to be at my fake job (i.e. waitressing) tomorrow at like noon, so I kinda need my sleep..."

Person A: "It's ok. I know a bar where we can wear pants and not have to talk to anyone. We can also not even drink and go home at like 11.30pm"

Person B: "omigod. That sounds sooo goood. I'll not drink and drive all of us!"

In college, a normal diet consists of:

-LA Waters

-Those loaded steak fries from buck fiddies.

-Animal crackers from vending machines.

-soy milk.

In NOT college, a normal diet consists of:

-nothing

-popsicles

-waiting for popsicles to melt and pretending to eat.

-expired soy milk.
kim: it should be noted that on more than one occasion, we took midnight runs to the local Ralph's to buy boxes of various-flavoured popsi's.

In college, every friday morning at 10am I made this phone call

me: "Hi, manager of Bubba Gumps? I'm sick (i.e. hungover) again and cant come in to work today. Thanks"

In NOT college, every friday morning at 10am I made this phone call

me: "Hi, this is Madison from Tower Energy group (i.e. the oil company). Your 401K investment portfolio has changed and I wanted to make sure your pay period deductions were correct. Thanks"

Things that are important to you in College:

-Running into one of the cast members from Entourage while you ate at Urth cafe on your lunch break from your internship at that production company.

-Having lots of campus "activities" and internships on your resume so that you'll have a job lined up right when you graduate. hah.

-Telling family friends about your "plans for the future."

-Not worrying.

Things that are important to you in NOT College:

-Listening to your mom's friends talk about "the older Vanderberg girl. She's living in LA? trying to be a writer? Comedy? What does she do again? I thought she went to college? What a shame."

-Working less than 25 hours a week and making the same amount of money as people who work 40 hours.

-wishing your parents never let you go to art high school or ever uttered the phrase "follow your dreams."

-NOT having to ever write a paper ever again that includes the words "socialization" "adolescents" and/or "early traumatic experiences" F*$# you UCLA sociology department.

Happy birthday 'Merica. Your welcome. <3Maddie

2011-05-09T15:35:00.000-07:00

Much like Fondation Cartier's "Né dans la rue" exhibit in France, MOCA's "Art in the Streets" is all abuzz in the greater Los Angeles bourge. Graffiti in the museum, graffiti on the museum, tags, street art, pochoir, the whole 9 yards (though personally, i'm hoping for more). If I could study graffiti for the rest of my life, I would. If anyone would like to read my 50-page thesis on the globalization of graffiti, well, let me get it published first. We'll be punching about later this week, 'round thursday (cuz it's free after 5)!!! Stalkers welcome. Catch ya on da flip side!

-Kayberlay

p.s. anyone wanna cop some spray for me?

judging you

2011-05-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

If you watch "American Idol"...

...You are someones mother. You also refer to Steven Tyler as "Steven Tyler

from American Idol." Your facebook profile pic is of a dog wearing
sunglasses.

If you watch "The Voice"...

...You are a dog wearing sunglasses.

<3 M

2011

2011-01-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

it is the start of yet another year and we, at da punch, feel as though the life has been drained out of us.

life is a constant attempt at finding our true interests and desires in the simplest actions and experiences... so we run. we run toward whatever we can and searching for peace and self-happiness, if not freedom from the unhealthy bits and the unfortunate events and interactions we might come across.

some of us run every day while others sleep in and dream... we do both.

it's a kind of a sort of a silly attempt to find "joie de vivre" and balance.

yet we cry, laugh, and smile about it taking in and letting out little breaths of it all, the incomprehension and the excellence. and if we can't do it alone, we get help from friends and fam, or we let edith -who never got a break- take care of us. No, we regret nothing:

a sadder post for november

2010-11-19T14:08:00.001-08:00

moche adieu a boot new thing.Mumbai, India

-Kimberley

Maddie's tips for fine living.

2010-08-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

- When searching for an apt, the most important item is to see if there is a bar nearby that can be traveled to by foot. Second in importance, is there a walkable McDonalds that is located between said bar and apartment. If you can satisfy both these conditions, then you can move into your new apartment.

-If you listen to Lil Wayne's "Sky's the limit" on repeat, I guarantee you will run the perimeter of UCLA in record time.

-If you stop eating dairy products, you will loose 10 lbs.

oh hi july

2010-07-05T17:04:00.001-07:00

happy belated
canada day
and 4th of july

from the two punching champs!!!
-Kimberley (& Madison who has been incredibly M.I.A. lately, ahem!)

Ladies And Gents, Dogs and Cats...

2010-06-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

put your hands and paws together, for I give you....
The AYE AYE LEMUR!!!!

As I started the trend back in may, of animal months, I decided to keep up with it and look up creepy June-appropriate bat-looking creatures (there is no logic behind this statement). I thought it would be cool to make June "Batman's Cave Month" combining my love of superhero comic books (HIDDEN GEEK ALERT) with stalactite/stalagmite crystals. Imagine Bermuda. Now imagine a beautiful, dark, natural crystal cave with water puddles and sharp crystal protrusions. That's an image straight out of my childhood, mang(s)!

This Gollum-like creature takes the cake though. Don't call him ugly, he's just scraggly, tiny, rat-like, and has the heeby-jeebiest of all bulging fluorescent green eyes. A rat? nay! A bat? nay! This rainforest-dwelling creeper hails from MADAGASCAR, so it's as cool as any cartoon like character shaking it's behind and singing "i like to move it, move it".

On a more awesome note, according to trustworthy site Wikipedia.com, the Aye-aye is "often viewed as a harbinger of evil and killed on sight. Others believe that should one point its long middle finger at you, you were condemned to death. Some say the appearance of an Aye-aye in a village predicts the death of a villager, and the only way to prevent this is to kill the Aye-aye. The Sakalava people go so far as to claim Aye-ayes sneak into houses through the thatched roofs and murder the sleeping occupants by using their middle finger to puncture the victim's aorta.^[5]"

Can I just say that any animal who knows how to point its long middle finger at you must be pretty BADASS. What a rebel!

In all honesty, I just stumbled upon this little guy and... He spooks me!

More completely reference-worthy facts from wiki-what!: "the name was also hypothesized to be of European origin, with a European observer overhearing an exclamation of fear and surprise ("aiee!-aiee!") by Malagasy who encountered it. However, the name exists in remote villages, so it is unlikely to be of European origins. Another hypothesis is that it derives from "heh heh," which is Malagasy for, "I don't know." If correct, then the name might have originated from Malagasy people saying "heh heh" to Europeans in order to avoid saying the name of a feared, magical animal"

FEARED. MAGIC. ANIMAL. Aiee! aiee! I think that about sums up everything I've been looking for in an animal friend.

Heh-heh,
Kimberley

Oh, I see what you did there

2010-05-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Feast your eyes on THIS beauty. That's right, may is husky month, as of now. Happy MAY everyone! Make sure you buy me presents ahead of time, so that when the 24th hits, i can unwrap my huskies and they will be as gorgeous as this pup!

If that doesn't work then I will settle for a slushpuppy. swampflavour please.

If that doesn't work then I will settle for a blue beanie.

If that doesn't work then I will settle for this creepy guy.

If that doesn't work then I will settle for the felt hat.

As you can see, I just successfully pulled off a Zach Galifianakus. Who? This guy:

I'd like to also point out that yesterday, at our dear friend Phil's birthday at the Gas Lamp, Madison got hit on by a MORE HAGGARD, MORE OLD, CREEPIER version of ZACH G. GROSS. She should really slut it up less at the club, is all i'm sayin.

If that doesn't work then I will settle for Best Wingman ever,
xo Kimberley

What your TV show says about you!

2010-04-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

I do these alot, so here goes.

WHAT TV SHOWS YOU CHOOSE TO WATCH AND WHAT THAT SAYS ABOUT YOU!!!

If you watch MAD MEN:
-You go to or have graduated from a four year university. You read blogs on the internet and might know a thing or two about html code. You're probably waiting in line for an ipad right now. You check rotten tomatoes before seeing any movie, and you considering going to film school at some point in your life.

If you watch TWO AND A HALF MEN:
-I have no idea who you are. Who are the people that continue to watch this show? Seriously though.

If you watch HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER:
-You probably also watched "Friends." This is probably the only comedy you watch on TV. You mostly watch for NPH and you liked him in "Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog." You like popular internet videos like "Key Board Cat" and "Charlie Bit Me." YOu also thought that "The Hangover" was legitimately funny. You like small dogs.

If you watch 30 ROCK:
-You are the best kind of person there is. You watch SNL religiously, even though you know it sucks. If you are a girl, you think Jason Sudeikis and a Jon Hamm hybrid would make the ideal man. And if you are a man, you think Tina Fey would make the ideal lady. You find Jimmy Fallon funny somehow. You were lame in highschool but were pretty ok in college.

If you watch 90210:
-You are still in highschool or maybe someone from Mission Viejo. You think this is the greatest show ever because you never watched "The OC." You like guys like Channing Tatum and you still wear Juicy Couture sweat pants. You like Victoria's Secret and SUV's.

If you watch DANCING WITH THE STARS:
- You are someones mother or you live in the midwest. You aren't a dancer at all. You liked Twitch from SYTYCD. You like shopping malls.

im tired.

<33 madison.

7-up free publicity

2010-04-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

it's april!!! whoop-whoop! once again you can thank madison for leaving DAPUNCH hanging!
maybe if enough people send her hate mail, my counterpart will finally get off of her royal dog pillow and write.
today is dedicated to Fido and Cool Spot.
Remember all of those old video games with the red dot guy and Fido Dido, of 7-Up fame?

I was never one of 'those people' who purchased the paraphernalia , except for maybe the occasional cereal-box watch or "lucky charms" bracelet...but just check out that shirt! brings back the old nostalgia! They, being probably Coca-Cola corporation (I'm almost certain over 90% of sodas are owned by them), should let these cartoons make a comeback...because they are just fantastic.

take me home, country road

2010-02-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

You may be feeling deceived, screaming in anger "WHERE HAS JANUARY GONE?"
I too am quite ashamed that we let it slip by. What happened to all those empty promises about the new year being ridiculously awesome, and those fun-filled blogs and the free cookies and cakes?

We made extra cookies from scratch the other week (which was in January): White Buttery Chocolate Chippers, that turned out a bit too cake-y (someone put too much baking soda in the batter). No, no picture. We're not photojournalists here...just...blaagherzz

In this blog, you will read some, but you will also see some. ...commercials. This is my fav airplane safety video:

January, January... in a few sentences, summarizing what we WOULD have written (had Madison taken the time to type up Something. We should all complain about That!)

1. Taylor swift took all the grammys and still looks strange. Perhaps TSwift is no more than another "BRITNEY", manufactured by the music industry. obvi. Yes...yes...be critical of everything young Jo-Bros/T-Swift Lovers. Kimberley, Why didn't you use the word "teenybopper" here in lieu of "lovers"? Why? I absolutely cringe at the word. It's like some mother of 4 in her late 30's created such a word, thinking it was HIP and would catch on...as it has. But NAY! I refuse to subject my blog to the social / literary wants. Just as I refuse to say "HORSEY SAUCE" when I'm at Arby's...which hasn't happened since High School.

2. The Los Angeles rains were deadly. Car crashes. Deaths (probably, we can't verify this). Severe Wounds.... WORMS. 'Nuff said. At least we had "DineLA" to look forward to. Ends this week (in February), so it's kind of a cross-over as to what-we-would-have-written.

3. I gave in and watched LOST-now back and more confusing than ever!... yet another ABC time-sucker. I still don't like watching it because it seems absolutely pointless, cult-like, and at times boring. I want resolves, man! Resolves!!!

5. Looking forward to FEB 14, our annual "let's go out and have us a GIRL'S VALENTINE'S DAY!" featuring myself, Sapna, and (new to our tradition as of last yr) Madison and Mariel! I think we're gonna watch that horrible-looking movie featuring 20+ celebrities and then search the town for some fun. I was asked to write an article on the Upright Citizen's Brigade Feb 14 show, but alas MIDTERMS, so that's another option for the night. Also, shout out to my improv theatre, "The Space". Our team "Token Boy" will be performing at IO West on Vday. And my team Hot Biscuit will have a special show on Saturday!!!

THAT'S IT MAN! Sorry about the lack of imaginative story ideas. Or for 3 & 5 (which technically cheated and didn't have anything to do with January).

To hold you over til the next entry, bc who knows when M. Vandy will finally get of her lazy blogbutt and post, here's PUFFS TISSUE! Bc i've been obsessed with their commercials & little characters for ...forever.

and now for the Tostidos pub, which I'm also in love with:

ENJOY! FEBRUARY! ENJOY!

2009-12-31T13:38:00.000-08:00

Harpy Newr Yerr everybody! punch! PUNCH! punch!!!!

Boy have we got some great punches ahead. K.O.'s, T.K.O.'s, snogging.. Agnus...thongs and all that fun stuff in a bag, we'll punch your christmas lights out! (which will be convenient if mom and dad forgot to take them down and the month has somehow skipped to june) ...we're judging you, parents!

Anywarz, i've been playing a lot of Wii at home with my Mii, a befreckled friend who is my exact in the virtual world. Madison has one as well, and it looks EXACTLY like here. hilar (if only i had a screen shot to show of it!) one day perhaps. If you ever want to challenge me to brain academy, I'd be down. Because My brain is Quite Massive according to the little peanut headed teacher with a moustache. Visual please? Ta-Da!

As far as movies go, I saw Sherlock Holmes two days after it's debut on Xmas and thought it was a decent take on the infamous literary detective (though not As exciting or innovative with the twists as I had hoped for), anything with RDJ surpasses the soggy waffle criteria (which goes: soggy waffle, wet noodle, mac 'n cheesy, shepard's pie, to pumpkin pancakes--the all-star highest rating). Yes, I just made that up. But truly, it put on a good show and Mr. Cheated With the Maid- Law was a lovely and smart addition to the film.

Moving on to the tele- lots of Mr. Bean, Friends, Iron Chef, Launch My Line and, well, let the following speak for itself.

At home I've been frequenting "The Disney Channel" as per usual, hovering specifically around "The Wizards of Waverly Place" trying to decide if David Henrie is gay or not. According to "Cha Cha.com" a site that is quite unreliable and sketchy, the answer is No. but one can't be sure. All in all, my favourite still remains Raviv Ullman. I've definitely blogged about this before, but he's still a highlight of people to befriend in the near future. Madison...any comments?

Lots of good thoughts and feelings for the coming of 2010, and especially due to it being the YEAR of Graduation (which has finally arrived, godsavethequeen!). Life proves once more to be cyclical, though most would argue that it is linear what with the creation of 'time' and such--something we've come to learn I don't really buy into. I wonder at which point we will all end up regenerated cells.

We, brains, moving our bodies. Multiple cells tiny microscopic organisms, bacteria, molecules, etc. and 'spirits' making up our human life forms. After having read "The Calcutta Chromosome" (and Hemingway's "A Moveable Feast" which I recommend greatly) as well as attended my first Hindu wedding, I am beginning to think that reincarnation isn't so farfetched. Because if we are just matter, mind, and 'spirit' then we will easily live on, forever, in a different way, and all of our friends and family who've left us (and so many have in the recent times) are also more alive than they ever were before.

FTWolf - Kimberley

expanding madison's struggle

2009-12-28T01:45:00.000-08:00

In response to Madison's blog--it's true. Too True. 2-2ru. this is an interesting point and i'd like to expand on it a bit further, let it soak on an applicable 'fieldwork' basis. Everytime i'm at an audition for so-and-so commercial (Coca-cola for example) and i'm in the lobby next to fellow (and often older) actors and actresses, we engage in a light chitchat. Some call this the part in which each actor tries to psych the other out by talking incessantly about their careers and how far along they've come and asking how many auditions they've been on, if they've booked, etc (industry gossip). i would say this is the 'struggling' part of my 'currently in progress' career. And then they get to asking YOU questions. Cool. I often respond with "well, great. I just got a callback for so-and-so director, currently doing the acting thing but still in school, about to graduate, exciting stuff ahead..blahblahblah", just something kind after my curt introduction, and then i'll get back to memorizing my sides and prepping individually.

And then 'reality' hits. These mid-20 to 40 yr olds are trying to book this commercial to pay the rent while I am a college student AND actress just dipping my feet around before fully plunging into it [the madness]. I think it is safe to say that everyone is struggling "IN THESE ECONOMIC TIMES", but maybe we use entertainment careers as an excuse. For example, by telling people how exclusive it is, how hard the 'struggle' is to get in, we are inadvertently strengthening the perception of "prestige" in the business and thereby hopefully lessening the competition into said career (by disheartening our fellow actors and screenwriters etc.). I feel like entertainment is just as accessible as any other job (though this is only from having met a lot of people in the business). If you really want to do anything, you will do it regardless of how hard it is.

I kind of really believe this. Especially with all of the interviews of industry professionals that I have been conducting over the past two yrs of college. Once you hear their opinions and stories of 'how they made it' you realize it's not really about "the struggle" or pursuit. And it's definitely not listening to the downside of 'entertainment careers' because there are downsides to every career. It's about figuring out what you want and being confident in it.

I can't say that acting is any more difficult to book jobs in than journalism or medicine. A low-paying job as a writer is probably equivalent to Extra work (no one really likes doing it, but its a job). Perhaps I'm disillusioned, insane, or really out of my league here (at least my parents would say so), but I firmly believe that if you really are passionate about something, anything (be it job, or living situation, etc) you will pursue it. Change what you don't like. "Life is what you make of it"...yada? I know, I'm a genius.

Anyway, I absolutely find it ridiculous when the actors 'banter' about in the pre-audition lobby for whatever reason..it's just so unnatural the way they (we?) speak to one another. But secretly, I love how so many different people, different ages, etc. are present, and how many stories they have to tell (actors, take it from me, have so many stories. Sometimes i make mine up). They've got agents. They've made it to the audition. And even if they seem so unlikely to succeed in the business (who are we to judge?) they know what they want, and they keep going on these auditions regardless of whether or not they book (that's the first step). There's just something so incredibly exciting about acting (for me) that I know i'll always be doing it.

Here's to booking in the New Year! *champagne clink*
-Kimberley

One more thing: It's very strange that people assume you will perform for free, whenever, instantaneously. When they find out you're in entertainment they want to judge immediately: "you do improv? let's see you improv!" What am i a monkey? Nay' suh! For a pretty penny, perhaps. but would i ever ask a surgeon to show me how to perform his surgery? A magician never reveals his tricks.

the struggle

2009-12-23T22:58:00.000-08:00

hi it's me. maddie.

where did the term, "struggling actor" or "struggling writer" come from? Why is nobody a "struggling plumber" or "struggling doctor"? huh?

Most people in LA are struggling "whatevers."

"yah, I'm working at starbucks, but what I really wanna do is write. I guess you could say im a "struggling writer" haha gotta put bread on the table, you know how that is..."

Imagine this conversation as follows:

"Well I'm living at home and collecting unemployment, but I'm hoping to be a dentist one day. My family calls me the "struggling dentist" of the family. I guess I'm the black sheep. hah."

Why is an artist in pursuit of their career allowed to be "struggling"? Why does that preface make it somehow a psuedo-career whereas everyone else is just unemployed until they reach their desired occupation? Why are some careers allowed to struggle for the first few years?

Because the "struggling" preface is only paired with actors, writers, artists, directors (maybe)...it is highly reflective on the "LA" lifestyle.

I like to categorize LA people as unemployed elitists. Angelenos are self-aware yet undeservedly pretentious. Mind you, I consider myself a part of this superifcial culture and can lash insults as a part of this in-group. The LA person thinks too highly or him/herself and this self reverence is unwarranted especially because most of us are "struggling" to "make it" i.e. unemployed or working at restaurants.

Because so many of us are quote-un-quote struggling, we should be alot more humble. When asked "what do you do?" why can't we answer honestly and say "my parents pay my rent currently so I can write screenplays on my laptop." Real talk, yo. Instead of the answer we do give, "Oh, I'm a 'struggling screenwriter'..." C'mon Los Angeles. Let's all stop thinking so highly of ourselves??

Now, I'm not condoning that you stop pursuing you're dreams. Not at all. And when asked what you want to do with your life, tell people you want to be an actor and not just that you work at a coffee shop.

But for realsies? Who began coining the term "struggling"? Let's just classify the entire 22-28 year old age bracket as "struggling professional person" and eliminate the confusion.

career got you down? yah, me too.

Oh, happy holidays.

mads.

back from Sandy Eggo

2009-12-17T00:43:00.001-08:00

now that i'm back (me being Kimberley, hi there!) i think it is an appropriate time to seize the day (seize everything!) . i drove from LA-SD back to LA in a span of 3 days, i've eaten at the infamous "hash house" which is potato-hash madness, and i've watched the baby seals bounce along the sandy beaches whilst the sun set in the b.g. alongside my good friends Robbie and Matt..and Madison. We had a bff-bff day, essentially.

to move from the topic of the San Diego to more important news (a.k.a. bragging about premiere-going) right after my last in-class final on Wednesday the 9th, 2009 i went straight to the premiere of NINE featuring Nicole Kidman (who had crazy hair), Fergie (I don't think this is something to be proud of), and Penelope Cruz (who is beautiful in-person as she is on-screen. and que!). Other celebs were meandering in the audience including the agent from Entourage, Jeremy Piven, etc. etc. The reason why I write of said event is mainly to warn you that it is not a very good movie. I felt (being a trained musical-theatre aficionado) that it was sub-par and decent at best. The music was nothing original, the lyrics were mostly about the women singing about their love for "GUIDO" repeatedly, and the entire plot was quite cookie-cutter Hollywood.

It wasn't 'Moulin-Rouge'-crazy or even 'Evita'-good which I had been expecting. The acting was just o.k. Marion Cotillard was the best, and the main character, whatshisface ...Daniel Day Lewis, did not pull of an Italian accent. And as much as I love Judy Dench, the dame, her French-accent was horrid. Could they not have hired a real french actress for the role? GAGZ

This was the only good number show-wise (and fergie had a pretty good voice in her song):

but WAIT! I couldn't help thinking of this song. They sound Quite similar except Kate Hudson in 'Nine' tended to speak more than she sang. Also, I prefer Madonna to Kate anyday. anyway.

Ciao Bellissima/Bellissimo!!

ps. if you're bored: young chevy chase or 13-yr old fashion blogger TAVI

Christmas Anecdote

2009-12-06T12:48:00.000-08:00

Kimberley here. Kimberley there. and then there's the bear...

From when I was about 5-8 every Christmas my family and I would go to Bermuda to stay with our grandparents who owned the “New Queen Restaurant”, a popular Chinese food stop for local regulars, Asians, and rich, white people looking for fine Asian cuisine. To my brother and I, Bermuda Christmas' meant unlimited servings of lemon meringue pie, fresh fish and chips, and anything we asked the cooks to make us. It consisted of fun trips to the Botanical gardens, fishing for sharks, and dozens of presents supplied by my grandparents, aunts, uncles, & as they’d have us believe, “Santa”. I was convinced that I must’ve been pretty up on the “Nice” list due to my ample gift supply, which, compared to my brother’s, was at least 6-7 presents more.

My favourite gift of all was a stuffed bear sporting a red striped shirt and patchy jean-overalls. I named him “Beary”, we became inseperable. The cool thing about Beary was that he recorded and repeated sounds when I pressed his hand. So, during a late-night karaoke party, I decided it would be fun to record my grandmother. Like magic, Beary could finally sing… Or screech, depending on how you like Chinese opera. I showed all of Bermuda my new best friend--the waiters, the hotel workers, and flaunted especially to my brother, who was super envious of my cool new toy. On the plane back to Canada, after giving an impromptu Beary concert to showcase his talent to the rest of the cabin, my mother took him away from me. And when she finally gave him back, I pressed his little hand. Nothing. I tried again but again, no sound came out of him. Beary was dead.

A Prime example of Chinese Opera for the fearless:

This is a true story,

Princess Kimberley of the Bermuda Triangle

Other gifts included: doodle jean-bear (he came with fabric markers), christmas wreath earrings, christmas bell earings, a cat with an egg-shaped christmas ornament pendant that sung "joy to the world" upon pressing a little button, red velvet dress, more stuffed animals (a rabbit, a Bermuda treefrog with a camera), stocking filled with stuffer-gifts, an advent calendar (of which i proceeded to eat upon realizing that it was already the 24th), and some more that i can't remember off the top of my head

tweets

2009-12-02T15:06:00.000-08:00

fictional tweets from famous people!

Barack Obama:
with @firstladymichelle and the girls, about to get dinner. Just balancing the budget and watering the lawn. Anybody know where I can get good fried chicken in DC?

Al Gore:
Taking the prius to the dealership. Someone broke in and stole the stereo = lameee.

Spike Jonze:
Rethinking the marketing strategy for #wherethewildthingsare. I'm now getting recognized too often, but only when I'm in Silverlake???? The studio said the demographic was 12 year olds?

Santa Clause:
sooo drufnkstz, lololololol. eigg nogg FTW!!!!1

sincerely yours,

Madison Leigh.

Seattle...aka LEATHER DADDY'S BOY CONTEST

2009-11-16T00:15:00.001-08:00

Ever since Everett left the apartment upstairs, Madison and I have been indulging in his free catalogs from Barneys--getting the "what's IN" on the fashion scene, glamrock, and ikea-like cb2 mags for better home-making and living decor. As we both have learned from Everett's obvious taste in fashion and living, not to mention our recent jaunt to Seattle, WA...the gays know how to live it up.

Despite the famed "sleepless" nightlife of frequenting the bars and clubs, we quickly learned that the "straight" life was NOT at all popping. Yes, there were men. Yes, many were of the 'woodsy scruffed-lumberjack meets potentially hipster yet not pretentious' type aka Maddie's future husband, but were they under 30? Probably not. And being surrounded by our new friends (and trust me, all 20 of them were beautiful gay men) did not help our cause to find said spouse.

Instead, we started the night at 7 with a light dinner followed by a bit of R-place, Barca bar (the ONLY straight bar we went to, for 10 minutes), Purr, and Cuffs (a "leather" club for gays, some of whom were "fifty and creepy"). We didn't complain though, because gays love us. Why? My theory is that they are drawn to my cuteness and the ability to pick me up and twirl me around a few, while Maddie..well, they just love Maddie.

In the end, we went to all of these bar/clubs (minus Barca) every single night. Even the coat-check trannies (in drag and white facepaint) remembered us which may-or-may-not be something to boast about.

Sure, Stephen took us around to the shops, U-Dubb's campus (university of washington), thrift stores (Red Light), and the Space Needle from afar...and yes, we definitely took his hiphop class with two 40 year old cougars and two middle-school girls...but the taste Seattle has left in our below-40 cold mouths is one of rainbows and gay men in undies.

Something to look forward to on your next trip to the best coffee-brewing capital! Oh, and a massive shout out to OWL CITY for playing on the radio a jazillion times with pride.

yo

2009-10-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

A-MADDIE-BLOG

hay 'merica.

as of late i've been mildly nostalgic. But not the "remember-christmas-of-'98" nostalgic, this kind of nostalgia I have occurs whenever Halloween is near. For some reason, this holiday stirs up the most unearthed emotions in me. That aside, that brings me to the topic of todays blog.

What your Halloween costume says about you!

If you dress as a...

Witch: Your mom bought your costume on sale from Rite-aid 30 minutes before the neighbors annual halloween party. You are mostly female and are probably 11.

Anything Slutty: You drink from red cups at frat parties and probably have a belly button piercing. You like talking about your ex-boyfriends and the only TV show you watch is HEROES or LOST.

A pirate: You are just a girl wearing black and red and an eye patch.

Tobias Funke: You are cool and don't mind sacrificing your jeans into "cut-offs." You are at least 20 and probably see movies at Laemmles.

Tom Cruise in Risky Business: You forgot to think of a Halloween costume but have access to a large white dress shirt and you wear Ray-Bans anyways. (i.e. See me and Kim's costumes from last years HARD)

ANY Historical Figure: You are either a 7 year old boy and your professor dad dressed you as Thomas Edison (complete with kite and electricity skid marks) OR you are a highschool student who hates PE but likes eating in the teachers classroom during lunch.

Max from "Where the Wild Things are": You probably saw this movie at midnight last night. You like Pabst Blue Ribbon and showing your friends cool videos on the internet - (but not videos of cute kittens or puppies)

that is it.

late night research

2009-10-13T00:59:00.000-07:00

Mr. IX from Mr. IX on Vimeo.

Double Trouble

2009-10-12T00:52:00.000-07:00

This is next up on my queue. So far I've rewatched "Ever After" and "The NeverEnding Story". I'm looking forward to revisiting Hocus Pocus however, as I never made the connection that Sarah Jessica Parker (of Sex In The City) is the Blonde witch (who I used to admire and thought was super pretty aka tried to model myself after...sooo dumb). ALSO...I'm going to try to find Mary Kate and Ashley's Halloween film "Double, Double, Toil and Trouble" . So good, I recommend you do the same! Tally Ho! -Kimberley

Charleston Willy

2009-09-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate when a book comes out with a "translated version" that sucks 100 fold worse than the original? Simply put, I do.

It's like, you might as well be watching a dubbed version of Harry Potter with chapped lips (the lack of Cherry Chapstick being the kicker).

AND...(starting with a conjunction to show my heady disapproval) Although the people in the theatre might not be laughing at the right parts, at least a v.o. (version originale) beats lips moving out of synch to "Helly Potta or Hairy Pothole" or whatever absolutely-Wrong pronunciation is uttered. Case-in-point : "Kiffe Kiffe demain" by Faiza Guene.

Here we have a wonderful little story about a troubled youth who comes from the ghettoed projects, trying to find her way to womanhood. There are so many pop and cultural references specific to France (especially the slang and lingo used) that merely does not reciprocate on the American translated take, that they should never have translated my Livre de Poche in the first place! No one should ever be required to Buy or Read Kiffe Kiffe à l'Anglaise.

Why? Need I go on? Because it loses it's spunk, it's cool, it's pizazz and turns into a limp noodle. In laymen's or rather ghetto speak ..I don't want no top ramen shiat! Yada? For the more hardcore, ebonify your lingo, like so: "ah don' like it at all what 'chew trippin foo'"

It could also be due to the loss of humor in the translated version...jokes just don't deliver, lines sound unnatural. No one in their right mind would talk like that. In this next example, you will see what I mean and nod your head, then jump off a cliff like all good lemmings do.

Ok, this is kind-of a weak example, but I randomly selected a pg. so ya get whatcha get!:

"Even if i think Mme DuSomethingorother's a fool too, at least she does a better job of playing social worker to the local poor"(9)

Here's the original: " Mme Duquelquechose, même si je la trouve conne, elle joue mieux son role d'assistante social de quartier qui aide les pauvres" (19)

...conne is a much stronger word than fool. this is probably the sorryest example i could find but you catch my drift ya?

I'd also like to point out the inconvenience of American books being all-different-sizes. Most books in France are all the same size (depending on the type) so they fit cute and perfectly on the bookshelf.

Plus they're small and easy to carry on the metro, so more people read them. I'm just being biased here, but it makes a lot of sense. Doesn't it bother you when a bookshelf is full of awkwardly sized books? Just me then? Alright...

I understand the argument that people who Don't read french need the means to access the book, thus a terrible bastardized version of it should rightfully be available....but it hurts just a little bit. I wish there were some sort of way to learn the common languages- Spanish, German, French, Chinese, English, Italian the quickest and easiest way possible.

Although this is too idealistic, if Everyone knew more languages, we'd become more well-rounded people and have access to more information, more resources, more human communication. Perhaps the cynics and xenophobes will criticize me for this, but wuteva mang!

I wonder if some of the smartest people know the most languages? That would make a lot of sense to me.

gabbing gabby...Kimberley Rants about Rats and Feral Cats

2009-08-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering about the rat situation in Los Angeles lately.

Is there one? Do they exist?

Only in sewers, perhaps.

But I imagine rats multiply rather quickly, thus you (predominantly I) wonder just HOW MANY rats there are and if they ever do come out into the open and Why are they such unsanitary critters? It Fascinates me to the bone that they are virtually in every major city and get around quite easily, or seem to (ie. the Bubonic Plague, boats to/from Italy, etc). I wonder if they are as nice as Remy from Ratatouille! (Not really... i'm just being dumb on this little rant here).

Upon further investigation (as I pondered whether the City and the Greater Los Angeles Area put out traps, pesticides, or had some sort of scientific and urbanly planned devices at play) I found THIS! : "Just in Case You and Your Home are Suffering from Rats" --I would have titled it. I almost (al-moooost) feel sorry for those guys, they get a real bad rap from the media (excluding Remy, of course...)

Apparently, however, there ARE systems at work (just like the magical unseen workers who cut the university grass at late hours for our next-day viewing pleasure)...the Rat Patrol. More formally known as the LAPD's FERAL CATS.

I wonder if they look as deadly as this and if so, then well, i guess it makes sense that rats would flee from fear.

I'm happy to be a Human.

Da Beezy Bronx Beat

2009-08-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Whilst in France (Lyon to be exact), I learned how to make crêpes with a Normal Pan, Normal Flour, Normal Butter, and Normal Sugar. That's all it requires really, pretty simple actually. It is the best drunk food for french people and every french person (me included) knows How to Make Crêpes. I plan on starting a chain of crêperies in the States around college-y areas...so look out for that America.

[ The Pikachu above is what turned up on google when i searched "Lyon + Crêpes"...apparently this biosphere burger company puts edible PRINTS on your food. sooo cool. ]

In response to Madison's post of all things quotidien, this is my short European take on day-to-day tomfoolery (it's longer, too long... but slightly more exciting):
----------
2:00 pm : Wake Up. Look at my cellphone for the time. Go back to sleep.

2:15 pm : Wake Up for realz. Realize that the day's almost over and shit, I have three missed calls/texts

3:00 pm: Look mildly presentable and go out to scavenge for food.
----
3:15 pm : Eat a whole falafel and coke (which cost a total of 8 euros, the equivalent of $12 and consequentially counts for both breakfast, lunch, and maybe dinner) and feel very, happily stuffed.

4:00 pm : Walk around on the cobblestone narrow streets and wonder why I don't just live here forever.
----
4:30 pm : Try to find a Frenchman worthy of making my spouse.

4:45 pm : Realize there are just too many good looking men here that I could never pick just one. And continue to flirt with Number 13 in a mixture of romance languages to show off my cool and sense of elite

5:00 pm : Hit the bars with some mates (mostly on Mabillon street, probably "The Frog and Princess" English pub) for some barfood (which consists of cheesy nachos and buffalo wings) and Happy Hour prices (5 euros versus the usual 10 euro cocktail)
----
6- 11 pm : Go to the club and dance with boys. Get asked if I would like a drink. Accept. Talk for a bit, say thank you, and politely excuse yourself to find your friends (but maybe exchange numbers if he was really a future possibility)

12 am : Get some crêpes. Maybe hit up that absinthe bar we always go to in the Bastille area.

1 pm : Decide if we should stay out until the metro reopens (5 am) or run to the metro which closes...Now.
----
2: 00 am : Missed the metro. Buy some illegally-bought 2 euro wine (no sales past 11 pm) and
go to the Seine to wait out the next 3 hours.

4: 00 am : Only one hour to wait. Everyone is drunk or hungover. Time seems to move at the pace of a dying snail.
----
4:30 am : Less than a half hour to wait, but we are so damn tired and it is so unbearingly cold that we hail a taxi and go back to the hotel for some zzz's.

2:00 pm : Wake Up and "do it all over again".

halo congo drummer

2009-07-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

wowee powee mr. contowwee, MADZ here...it's summer time and the livin's easy...well not really... mr. contaoi was this high school teacher all the girls swooned over.

Kimmy Wong is viva la france (It's actually "Vive la France"... or "allez la chatte" ;) ..ps i bolded words our general audience may not know and should look up in a dictionnaire)

and I, maddie, am viva la... two part time jobs, internship, and summer school? Hooray for being over-worked! and hurrah for your new haircut! it's SO camilla belle. and now joe's single so Get It Gurrl!

However, that is not the crux of this bloggy. I realized that neither Kim nor I have updated in a while, ('cept I just noticed Kim's ode to Mr. Michael Jackson, very telling and compelling Ms. Wong, I like). I write it like it is..nice use of rhyme

So anyways, my goal by the end of college is to have a "list" or an "open letter" published to Mcsweeneys, so I must write prolifically until I acheive said goal. Alas I am stymied, what to write? IDK (...my bff jill?). she means Kim. it's obvi code. So on the theme of maddie's-summer-is-actually-less-relaxing-than-the-school-year, I'm going to make a "day in the life" entry, or a "itinerary" of my day, because you all care what I did today...obvi, so.

Any given day for Madz this summer:
8:30 am: wake-up
8:45 am: check facebook and realize I have less than 3 new notifications, immediately feel sorry for myself. mostly from me...adds to the pity
8:47: Walk into the kitchen and try to remember the last time I had eggs for breakfast.
8:48: Decide I had eggs two days ago and thusly (this isn't a word) don't want to increase my cholesterol intake.
8:48 30 seconds: Eat cereal.
8:57 Check my email.
9:05 blow dry my hair and find something other than cut-off shorts that I can wear to work.
9:35 Drive to Beverly Hills
9:55 Make weird jokes with the middle aged hispanic valet guys at internship.
10:00-7:00 Stare at computer at internship. Ocassionally (mad SP alert) bind scripts together, transfer phone calls (sometime famous people! egads!) get coffee, burn DVD's, accidentally hang up on important people while I try to transfer a call, Get confused when I try to transfer a call, transfer a call to the wrong person, make mental notes to self that I should better learn how to transfer a call.
7:00 Drive home.
7:15 Arrive in westwood.
7:16 Have a headache
7:18 Force someone to hang out with me. me..
7:19 Make pasta
7:45 If aforementioned friend (me) does not feel pressure to hang out with me, then..I spend the rest of the night as follows
7:46 watch "True Blood" DVD's where? share the love.
8:46 Update my netflix queue. which she never shares with me
9:00 Pay off a parking ticket.
9:05 watch a movie on netflix
11:00 Feel sorry for myself and probably eat ice cream or take a shower. wait a scottish sec...we have ice cream? in the freezer? ..i'll be right back
12:00 go to bed.

I'm exaustingly lame. And you spelled exHausting wrong. sorry 'bout it.

beat it more than once, in honour of mj!

2009-06-27T01:30:00.000-07:00

So it's weird living right by the UCLA medical center. I was on the shuttle back home when the bus driver stopped as a small crowd and crew of reporters crowded the new Reagan medical center.

"MJ is in the hospital due to cardiac arrest" said Driver Bill. Our doctor friends tell us he was probably gone by around 12 but that they kept him on the shockers til 3...(usually it is useless after about an hr and a half). It's sad to see such a huge american idol leave us.

My favourite memories will always be Mickey Jee as the scarecrow in The Wiz (musical version of wizard of oz)...along with my black keyboard i received as a kid that came with the Autosong "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" and a music book with THIS picture on the cover: (see above)

...CLASSIC JACK

To focus on a slightly brighter (though still bitter-sweet) side, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who has always been a hottie since his 3rd Rock from the Sun days is Still Awesome. According to non-reliable sources (aka wikipedia) he is Jewish and 28. In Da Punch terms, he's Quite Desirable (QD!).

"500 days of Summer" is a ridiculously true-to-life journey of changing jobs (following your passions) and falling for someone-liking them more than they will ever like you.

It's painful to watch due to the real-factor. The entire character of Tom goes through the slow meet, the crush, the set-up of knowing what he's getting into, the falling, and the crash. I wanted to cry in a slightly heart-pang-y way (as in the movie "UP") but my shoulder-buddy was not around so I managed to keep cool. My strings are still sore from being pulled, and relating to this movie is like going through those feelings all over again. Worth it, but sucky. Swurtky.

It's almost 2 am. Watch it, you won't regret it. And men, Zooey Deschanel is in it. And she looks the same, live, so...

HOLD ON TO YOUR GLOCKS!

2009-06-07T00:48:00.001-07:00

Is that a chinchilla ...IN A BOWL?! (baby!) Tiny critter found covered in baking flour, scrambling the sides of a tupperware container while winking seductively.

...This is the perfect lede into our post of the morn! Many of our followers and secret stalkers (it's okay, we still love you) have been telling us that they really enjoy our twittering and that they think they can tell which one of is posting/when. Well well well, so you think you have us all figured out Do Ya?!

I guess you'll never Really Know ....but since we are very on and off about who posts next ('pick of the hat' MacGyver style (macgruber we've only got 4 minutes!)) here's a little hint.

These 2 sample tweets were by Kimberley:

The Room tonaahght. TONYBONES. MARKARK. SHANEMANE. RIGGSBIGS. and more. "hi doggie"

just arrived in da city of sins. kims bday tomoz

These posts, by Madison:

had a daydream about a lot of poodles. so chill. (true story.)

GIRL TALK last night. Dancing on the stage. TONIGHT - Maddie dancing at 7 in AGB for FAST Fashion Show. hayy (in case this is confusing, i was dancing on stage with girl talk. just fyi. jealous or whateva?)

abuse that as you may.

We are outskies,
Kimberley.. and Madison (the two compadres of Chinchilla Dome (ehh word choice kim?) Land)

...From the author of "if you give a pig a pancake, if you give a mouse a cookie, if you give a moose a muffin" comes "if you give a chinchilla a bowl of flour..." dun-dun duhhhhn!!

SPOCK

2009-05-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

it's a pig's world

2009-04-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

but seriously... you can blame McMadison for not updating the blog. s'Technically her 'turn' to write, but I will pick up her slack (as usual). In The News... please stay away from these swine! They may seem harmless & mildly "slow-loris"-like cute but gorsh durn they're like the mafia of farm animals and will do you in like they did in some mexicans and migrant workers (La eMe-style).

pff! PIG-disease...it's probably from all of that coffee they've been chugging down. Really now, Who gives a pig a cup o'joe? ...GILLY?!!

Pondering in the Wake of a Soon-to-Be Epidemic*,
*referring to the gilly+pig + coffee, not the already pandemic pig disease. (adendum 4/28)

Kimberley, M.D.

happy easter all!

2009-04-12T00:41:00.000-07:00

be lazy, like us. forget about egg hunting, dying, indulge in some sugary treats and sleep in ALL DAY LONG.
Peeps

and kill some time learning how to make life juss a lil' bit prettier.

-The Easter Bunny

goodbye facebook, hello newest internet obsession

2009-04-03T12:13:00.001-07:00

one word. new obsession. what is it? Simon Rich. who's that? 24, writes for SNL, Harvard graduate, two published novels. what does this mean to you? MADDIE IS THE CREEPIEST STALKER PERSON YOU KNOW AND YOU SHOULD CHANGE YOUR FACEBOOK PRIVACY SETTINGS NOW creepy but convenient. now let's crank out our novels and get them to puffin books asap!

Simon writes for the NEW YORKER, hilarity ensues. my new best friend. sorry madz

second obsession. Jakeandamir.com. supa-dupa. my head and my heart!

Video ho's killed the radio star

-check yo'self befoa you wreck yo'self, checked but still wrecked :(

Mad-cube. so chill or wateva. surrounded by Roflcopters (xo kim)

Fan update

2009-03-30T00:04:00.000-07:00

You would only know this if you religiously follow our recent twitter- kimandmadz- which i know you do... anyhoo, i wrote that we just rock paper scissored to see who would take a shower first (best 2 outta 3 for those as curious as mr. button) and i said that i'd lost.

it was a close battle but after 4 repeats of the same pattern (scissors, paper, rock, paper, scissors), alas poor yorick- my little rock fist was beaten by the Hammer of Grabthar (aka Maddie's sly paper hand)

This game never really made sense to me. a rock cannot be beaten by paper. pff..anyway she's out now so i'm gonna get sudsy (like this guy!)

I'M OUTRO!
-Kimber of the Buttercup fields and Sparkly Castles

twit

2009-03-21T16:17:00.001-07:00

Attention DaPunchees! New update as of 4:17. We each didn't want to individually have a twitter (how lame) so now you can follow the lives of your favourite two Best Friends Forever...here!: Da TWITTAAH

Gruesome Lurv Arwayz,
Kimber & Mad Is On... the P.O.D. (picture of the day) is unrelated.

da dance

2009-03-21T14:43:00.001-07:00

This post probably will not interest anyone but me...but...my favorite dance videos on the interwebzzz

1. Misha Gabriel - Combo to "We Gonna Win" - Miri Ben Ari
Ack! Violins!

2. Tony Testa - "Phone Home" Lil Wayne

-homeboy is insane. Tony Testa is beast!

3. Bobby Newberry - "Breaking Dishes" by Rihanna
-The fiercest Gay in LA...Bobby Newberry. I'm actually dancing in this video (where's waldo?)

4. Blake McGrath - "Gimme More" Britney

My other favorite Gay! I think I actually learned this combo, I may be one of the girls standing awkwardly along the sidelines...

5. Tight Eyez
I would give up all my vital organs to be able to krump. Until then, I'll just keep doing it "white girl" style... "what chest pop! what! omgz! so buck! ahahah"

6. Dee Caspary

This man is my idol slash mad genius.

-MADDIE, AKA CHILLGIRL22

"You'll have to park your stick somewhere else man"-Pinky & The Brain

2009-03-14T12:51:00.001-07:00

Center Stage 2 sucked Wonderballs-minus the delightful cartoon-shaped candies in the center and spherical chocolate shell. Lame to the Max!! Speaking of Max, I miss the Goof Troop show...and all disney cartoons for that matter.

(I think it's interesting how almost every cartoon you mentioned was/is also a movie, book, etc...Yae SYNERGY) Forget Phil of the Future -no please don't, i love raviv, the Mighty Ducks (both movie and cartoon (also Hockey Team), Darkwing Duck (also Donald Duck Doppleganger), The Little Mermaid Adventures (movie and ride), Animaniacs (WB), The Magic School Bus (also book series), Buzz Light Year's Adventures in Space (first and formost Toy Story), Timon & Pumba (they had a cartoon spin-off too? sheesh), Angels in the Outfield (ok this is also not a cartoon)...all of it was one googolplex dollaz -Priceless (dollah dollah billz y'all)!

In lieu of a post about Ethan Stiefel's failed attempt at wooing us in CS2, I will turn the attention over to free vids care of Youtube. Your only two tasks for today are to "Watch and Enjoy":

I never realized that Pinky was australian...if only I could have been on the screenwriting team for this one! Gnarf! (i forgot how genius this show was):
This one's for our friend Sapna who thought that "coy" meant "covert". You will learn something in this episode of Darkwing:
This isn't the sebastian-adventures cartoon, but it's TLM 2, which i've seen but most of the world hasn't (similar to Poccahontas II)...in Hebrew!:

& Lastly Here's a random one that may be better than the original(this is so disturbing):

Kimberley-how is my disguise Pinky?-Brain

Madison - remembering how to "stand out" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3debg_o3u_o)

Da JIM HENSON blog

2009-03-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

O sheesh Y'all it's the Labyrinth. (Nay--it's a tripod advertisement!)

Maddie here. (hi mads) If you are my sister, you know how obsessed I am with Jim Henson creations. This blog is a collection of photos, almost like Perezhilton.com. Ok Kidding it's not. It's muppets. I am so weird. not really, well mostly. ok.

"Marley and Marley, Ebenezer Scrooge"

Da Muppet Babies. Like Tiny Toons, but muppets.

I was only 4 when DINOSAURS was on TV, so I only vaguely remember it from watching VHS recordings when I was older, so I might be confusing this with ALF??? (it was the show where the stupid egg baby kept saying "not the mama"..i watched it too) hmmm... The 90's were all about non-human protagonists on multi-camera sitcoms...
Lastly, the JIM HENSON HOUR was the most brilliant TV show ever! Remember how creepy this guy was? He was like the poor-man's version of "Beaker." And remember that strange control room that every episode started in? And the darker subject matter? No? ok. (Reminds me of Coneheads --I had nightmares about those guys)

Madison - is MuppetVision 3D still a ride at California Adventure? - Vandy. (& Kim-it sure is-Dubbo Ewe)

crazay in my nazay

2009-03-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

The Boys are back in town!!! and how, BROWN COW?!

They left for a short while... some sort of sabbatical-type deal, but they've returned with gifts for all! so here's a shout out to our boys JAKE AND AMIR!!!! (o twas a dream!)

Per their recent episode which you can find by clicking on the blue link, i should hope you all know how to french kiss or at least kiss someone passionately...

Nothing's worse than "too much tongue" .. just ask Maddie: angus, thongs and perfect snogging

If you don't know the art of romancing, no worries, here's one of my absolute favourite tutorial vids:

On a low note, Professor Ouchi says that all over the world (his research has shown) women dislike mcdonalds (o no....has he MET ME!), which, if this is a causal study, makes us non-women. Which is bad, because that means we are 1 of 3 things alphabetized below:

a. men
b. aliens or
c. nuggets
d. trannies
e. dead or
f. nicolas cage wearing john travoltas face.

...With a strong lean toward c (or F)...For readers who don't know what we look like, here is an old family-photo taken of us last reunion:

maddie likes to sport the blue fanny pack

i, however, am partial to the straw skimmer hat and barbershop quartet look...

Speaking softly and carrying a big stick,
Kimberley

Whispering delicately and holding a large branch,
Madison.

maddie did not get that reference...

Da musixx

2009-02-16T17:27:00.000-08:00

Maddie here, (Kim on the sidelines embellishing)this is a post about the kind of music you listened to as a kid assuming grand stereotypes.

When you were in Elementary School, you listened to...
-Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Madonna's "Ray of Light" album, and if you were really alternative then you listened to movie soundtracks, most likely Titanic. (i also listened to Phantom of the Opera, Lion King, and pretty much every Sing-Along-Song vhs available...)

When you were in Middle School, you listened to...
-Blink 182, Eminem, some Mariah Carey, Lincoln Park, and Sir Mix-a-lot. (Third eye blind, chumbawumba, aqua, bsb/nsync, Robyn, Janet Jackson, Mandy Moore...Britney)

When you were in High School, that's when people starting having personalities and forming opinions about things...so you listened to music depending on who you ate lunch with...

If you liked being in relationships, learning to play guitar, and going to concerts, then you listened to...
-Fall Out Boy, the Format, and Jack's Mannequin. (really? these seem like single-people bands...i'd input Deathcab for Cutie, michael buble, james blunt, All American Rejects, googoodolls, redhotchilipeppers, foofighters, mae, coldplay, the postal service...actually the entire Garden State movie soundtrack can be added here)

If you were insecure, "rebellious," and were the first of your friends to have a myspace, then you listened to...
-My Chemical Romance, Panic at the Disco, Hollywood Undead, and other 'Myspace' artists like Jeffree Starr (i would put falloutboy in this category if panic at the disco is since they were pretty much interchangeable, bright eyes...)

If you were white, wore Nike Dunks, BAPE hoodies (this is less highschool, more towards the college-age...i don't think BAPE was big til we were highschool seniours/freshmen in college), and planned on going to a 4-year university then you listened to...
-Kanye West's "The College Dropout" album, R-Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" saga (to laugh at it, of course) and Ratatat. (i listened to Jurassic5...is that weird?)

If you secretly self-identified as "cool," liked art, and hadn't participated in organized sports since 5th grade, then you listened to...
-Sufjan Stevens, MIA, Sigur Ros, Radiohead, some Bjork, and all of the Beatles.(seu jorge)

If you didn't have many friends and played pool in your basement, then you listened to...
-Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, Guns N' Roses, and also the Beatles.

Everyone else listened to...
-Rihanna, Chris Brown, Justin Timberlake, All American Rejects, T-Pain, Coldplay and maybe Gavin Degraw. (i never listened to rihanna til college...my aunt bought me "pon de replay', this is how i was introduced to her)

What I listened to...
Elementary School: S-Club 7 and Counting Crows. (bbmak, m2m, aaron carter, vitamin c, no doubt, spice girls, smash mouth)
Middle School: Enrique Englesias and Eminem. (ricky martin, beyonce's band...i forget what it's called..., the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, Christina aguilera)
HighSchool: Dave Matthews, MIA, Dashboard Confessional, and Queen. (Rooney, Avril lavigne, alot of Classical-Bach etc, Les Nubians, emo-indie music galore)

WHat are we going to listen to in 10-15 years...
-Probably Coldplay again and if Weezer breaks up, then we'll listen to them when they have a reunion tour. (nowadays kids listen to hannah montana and the jobros... but everyone knows Disney stars fade--remember KRYSTAL Harris' SUPERGIRL song?)

seasons greetings,
Madison.

"WHAM! Make it Big"

2009-02-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

Along with the onomatopoeia of "WHAM!" the best band of the 80s (...yes, really) I'd like to introduce you to a little bottle of champagne from la maison Pommery in dear old France, "POP". I discovered it at a nightclub in Paris (sold behind the bar in little blue bottles) and it subsequently crept up on me at the Costplus World Market & Costco Wholesale.

For champagne-explorateurs (click this link) especially with V-Day just around the corner, I'd recommend a bit of POP Rosé for a cool break from all that steam or for popping on girl's night out. Live on the wild side: slice a few strawberries and place them decoratively in your glass.

For those who do not care for the cute $8 champagne, there's always the cheaper Strawberry André. Tasty, sweet, candied alch...Maddie's personal fav I introduced her to two Halloween's ago.

Or you might just be too good for alch this year. Thanks to Cupid, there's always faithful Martinelli's Sparkling Cider (not to be confused with cidre) and Andre's hot young sister Crush Strawberry Soda.

Feel free to send Dapunch a few "crush grams"

Liquid love,
xoxo Kimberley

Da Video

2009-02-02T22:02:00.000-08:00

this is our VLOG!!!

Kim says, "Maddie, write me a rap song," Maddie says, "ok"

Da BZ BRONX BEAT
-as performed by Young Kim and Written by Lil' Maddie.

swipe and swerve git ur hurr deed, mr. deed's, I got a 40 in the back and I'm pack'n like I'm jock'n. Hurrt. check my style out kermit!

Da'reference

2009-01-23T17:47:00.000-08:00

Punchpunchpunchpunchmadison.

I've come to the realization that very little I say is an authentic thought.

The majority of my time speaking is composed of making references to popular culture. I'd say that about 60% of what I say is quoting or talking about something I saw on TV, imdb, or read in a blog.

For example,

"Hey so-and-so have you seen the new [insert any youtube video]? O You haven't, well it was referenced on [insert some NBC show] because [insert some SNL castmember] co-wrote it with [insert British actor].

"Have you read [insert obscure comedian's] new book? Yah, it's published by this vegan book grower that supports [insert unknown comedy club] and they're thinking of making it into a movie starring [insert big name comedian] but they're not sure who will adapt it for the screen yet."

"O Hey blah-de-blah, did you know that [insert teen celebrity] is dating [insert another teen celebtrity]? O you didn't, well aparently they are doing a reality show now on [insert either MTV or VH1], yah they met when they both were on [insert award show] but aparently he was cheating on [insert another teen celebrity]. Drama!"

This is what I do with my life, gather USELESS trivia and then assume that other people care about Miley Cyrus, MTV, and Andy Samberg as much as I do.

But I'm not the only one like this, there are more of you like me out there...so what's the appeal? Why does knowing alot about things that don't matter make us happy!?! Or does it? Are we so insecure that if we keep referencing superficial elements of the zeitgeist that we will never have to look deep into ourselves and produce a shred of authenticity???...Nawww....

How does quoting "Jizz in My pant's" with your co-workers help you bond? Why does comparing Jonas Brothers with your gal pals create comraderie? Why do strangers suddenly become best friends when one quotes something from "Rushmore" - "omigod, you like Wes Anderson too! I love him..now what is your stance on the Gaza fiasco?"

Maybe I'm just writing this because I'm killing time and re-reading old "stuff white people like" entries...(Christian Lander of SWPL has opened my eyes to my elitism and mediocrity so hard...read his blog if you want to laugh your face off then feel horribly unoriginal. )

Despite the posting of this blog, it will not stop me from making lame/annoying references to "Twilight," "30 rock," "Gossip Girl," or the Disney channel. Get excited, stay tuned, and aloha mora!

Last night I sawr a film,

Madison

2009

2009-01-22T19:54:00.000-08:00

Ob's with US! Dapunch officially welcomes Mr. President to the White House...we don't live there, but we welcome you anyway.

The Members of Dapunch Approve This Message
K & M
(by Kimberley)

Ed Westwick v. RPatz Revisited, Civilly

2009-01-11T16:06:00.000-08:00

This morning I received a melodramatic facebook message from fellow writer M.L. Vanderberg concerning the reception of blogpost #Most comments posted.

Apparently, Madison received quite a bit of hate mail from a few 'girls'? who felt the need to raise the iron fist in defending the two honourable man-actors and their personal lives.

In Madison's defense, however, Edward Westwick and Robert Pattinson had it coming. From the start of their dreamy good looks (i imagine they came into their own around the age of 15-16) women around the globe swooned and drooled over their irresistible glory and British charm. And who doesn't love a man with an accent and a flawless-seeming face/body/mostly face?

I think Madge bit the butt of the cig when she sang ARC's number-one single of '85 "Material Girl". We LOVE diamonds, who doesn't enjoy man jewels? Mancessories?? Mancandy for the eyes and arms???

The luring effect of Pattinson and Westwick has even become heightened in the past four or so months, what with the release of sci-fi teen-romanticle hit (dare-i-say) "Twilight" and the hot topic of highschool lunch breaks "Gossip Girl", number one guide to O-M-G AWH NO YOU DIN'T drama.

Much like the media's craving for the sizzling JoBros and Perez's attention on Victoria Beckham, Yours Trulies at D.P. don't mind if we spill a bit of paint on the carpet from time to time and muddy up the front porch with sexy man comparisons (i like number 7). If anything, they should feel flattered that we think of them so highly as to grace them with an article.

To those who felt flustered by Madison's post: If there was some sort of misconception that D.P. is ALL business...Girls, perhaps you should spend a little less time worrying about our media ramblings and more on this website

Addendum 1/12: Looking back at their comments, I get the feeling that they were hating moreso on the other girls who commented than on the bloggeurs (us) themselves.

"The world is vast. The world is wide. So make like an arachnid"
Quoteth Kimberley this day in January.

Best of '08

2008-12-29T17:27:00.000-08:00

Maddie's Favourites from 2008! (i can vouch for that...minus #3)

1. The Jonas Brothers - obvi but not as much Kevin. poor sap

2. Twilight - I read it FASTER than Harry Potter! Not Possible!? Impossible! Harry is illiterate!

3. 30 Rock - Best comedy since Arrested Development in my opinion, even though Kim hates it :( It's true, i just can't STAND that show...but check out Summer Heights High (an awwesome Aussie show) or Ab Fab (British hilarity)!

4. Chuck Bass - Gossip Girl's scheming lothario. Ed Westwick, master of the dark arts

5. Robert Pattinson's Hair - his wavy locks match the color of Edward Cullen's eyes (err..twighlight reference..) until he cut it...I still prefer Jackson Rathbone

6. Circus - NOT Barnum and Bailey, but Britney Spear's comeback album that shrieks in pop ecstasy! not lil' wayne? what happened here?

7. Paul Rust - http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1634cf5f0f/idiot-authors-writing-tips-from-paul-rust Paul's live music and his dancing take the cake. He sounds like the lead singer of Hello Goodbye just a tad. Adorrrable man!

8. Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer - I Loved them before '08, and I'll never stop. "Just Two Guys" "jizz in my pants" "dick in a box" "the 'bu" "HOTROD" I want to marry all three! Ditto. You named quite a few Lonely Island gems. This is probably what makes us such good friends.

I can't think of anything else, and I need to watch BROMANCE! Can't Think?! Never! Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Marley and Me, Hotel for Dogs, Bolt, and every dog movie that recently came out in the past MONTH. 2008 marked the Year of the Dogs...plus it is when i created the memorable dog-call whilst wreaking party havoc...."DAAAAWWWGG!!!"

peas bumble bees ..the bird is still the word.
Madison. & Kimberley!

What's on Your Radio?

2008-12-27T00:26:00.000-08:00

This is the offish radio post. Anytime we hear a good song, we'll post it HERE!

If you wanna sing out, sing out

Kimberley: Dec 27 08/ Blondie: "Heart of Glass". It reminded me of Of Montreal's "Wraith..."

christmas punch

2008-12-25T03:55:00.000-08:00

This one's on us!

Merry Christmas Scrooge McDuck, (now you can jump into a large mountain of gold coins!)
Happy Hannukkah Jon Lovitz! (or Adam Sandler, just in time for "Bedtime stories")

I was youtub-ing the perfect video to send to a sexy friend in celebration of XMAS (aka The Little Drummer Boy video) and stumbled upon this little nugget of genius (did you give this to bitty! she collects nuggets).

If you're not familiar, the song is from Broadway's Avenue Q and the video is from Rankin/Bass' 1964 classic stop-motion tv special- i just love stop motion/claymation (me and lexi watched rudolph saves frosty with the help of jack frost on stop animation yesterday) .

In otherwords, it is a gift that can be regifted...more timeless than a diamond, Our present to you so... PASS IT ON.

Spiced Eggnog is gross,
Kimberley & Kimberley signing for Madison (madison here!)

(no coal please)

PUTS

2008-12-22T15:04:00.000-08:00

This post is a bit more PG-13, kids, be forewarned. (if you can't handle rap, you can't handle this)

...can you kick it?? yes? YES you can?! Ladies and gents, put your paws up for PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS!

About three days ago, December 19th to be exact, underground hiphop G's Thes One and Double K of PUTS (peeps under stairs) rampaged on stage at the El Rey.

With Cut Chemist (Trivia: did you know that cut chemist, aka Lucas MacFadden, played the chemistry teacher in JUNO?), Ugly Duckling, & DJ Mark Luv on the lineup (subpar performances on all parties), L.A. rap (statistically targeting middle-class white fans)(white people LOVE rap music. According to "Stuff white people like" AKA my biography!) afficionados gathered round to appreciate/witness the prominent beat-droppers take hits (literally) on stage and play their chronology of song steppin' underground success.

It was long waiting for Cut Chemist to finish his set- doors opened at 830, PUTS (puts puts puts puts do you have it?) went on from 12-2ish-but plenty of time to hound down some booze and light up a joint, if you're into that sort of thing.

When lights dimmed, the curtains closed and reopened to reveal the drizzastic duo alongside random kids crackin' it up on stage to hype the already influence-induced crowd. The random accompaniment of stage-clan fans were sort of too much 'show' for the show, throwing both fries and people into the lack-of-moshing mosh.

Nonetheless, PUTS as anticipated Put-out for their fans as heads bopped, bodies jumped, & smoke filtered through the air.. the whole nine yds.

Samberg would say that This is an irresistible Raaap song (Raap song raap song dropping ones and fives and even TWOS!). Many blazed and enjoyed their ganja to said tune.This is probably one of their better-known ones:

Say What??:

My nigga Spliff was sippin' Becks, I'm slappin hands with Thes
Ok the shady spot so we can circulate the stress
Mary Jane invades my brain now I can't complain
I'm sayin what else is there to do besides relax
Let the problems in your mind become ancient artifacts
Perhaps these raps can help you alleviate
The things that's got you trippin, yo watch me demonstrate
First you ignore the nonsense and clear your conscience
Let your pen touch the paper write verbs and consonants
As the words become a sentence you start to feel indifferent
The stress is out your mind you feel like the weight was lifted
Terrific I'm glad we had this time to discuss
I'm outro call me if you want to blaze one up (uggg i hate weed songs)

K1
*with annotation by M1?

Welcome to the applewagon marley!

2008-12-13T21:51:00.001-08:00

A couple weeks ago I was stalking some semi-famous people on facebook and I came across the facebook profiles of the less-impressive cast members of SNL (fred armisen, jason sudeikis etc) and I decided to add them as friends i tried to friend david maklovitch of Chromeo. They still haven't added me back however. This brings me to the topic of todays blog.

5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD SEE TWILIGHT EVEN IF YOU NEVER READ THE BOOKS OR THINK ITS GOING TO SUCK OR SOME OTHER REASON THAT IS KEEPING YOU FROM SEEING IT:

1. ROBERT PATTINSON: This is really a no-brainer. EVERY girl, and I mean EVERY girl had a crush on him when he played CEDRIC DIGGORY in Harry Potter drool worthy. Even the select few of us who lusted after Rupert Grint changed our minds and fell for the model-cherub-boy-wonder. He's practically Zac Efron 2.0 personally, i think Jasper (jackson rathbone) is much hotter. i'd doubletap that

2. So you can tell everyone how much you disliked Kristin Stewart:
As much as people cry themselves to sleep over Rob Pattinson, they equally loathe Kristin Stewart. She was that annoying hippie in INTO THE WILD, Jodie Fosters daughter in PANIC ROOM, and if you are as creepy as I am then you remember when she was in CATCH THAT KID with Corbin Bleu. Basically, she plays that same offputting, im so arogant, im squinting my eyes cuz I'm an actor, I was never on the disney channel - thing in every movie! It's horribly unbearable to watch on screen. You need to see twilight so when you complain about her, it's justified. you will especially hate her when rpatz pins her down on a boulder ever-so seductively

3. IT'S FUNNY:
It's funny because I don't think it EVER intended to be at all humerous. There are so many close up's of furrowing brows, exclamations of love (i.e. "You are my life now Bella" "you're like my own personal brand of heroin"), candid highschool dialgoue ("Hey Bella how do my boobs look in this dress?") etc etc. It takes itself so seriously. It's probably funnier than MARLEY AND ME, so see twilight instead. "wh-wha-what? nn noo, you..you..cccan't..luhluhleave me."

4. What other movie are you going to see instead?
REally? WHat are you going to see other than twilight? THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL? hardly. 4 CHRISTMASES? nix. What about one of those "oscar" films? MILK, GRAN TORINO, THE WRESTLER? psh. wasteful to see anything other than TWILIGHT. Bolt is always an option...

5. There are 3 more films in the franchise to be made:
If you don't see twilight you will be out of the pop culture loop for the NEXT 3 YEARS as they release the next three book-to-screen adaptations. If you don't see this movie you will be so confused why bella is upset in NEW MOON, or what's wrong with Jacob in ECLIPSE, or how it ends in BREAKING DAWN. You won't see Twilight, and then you wont see any of the future installments and then when everyone at work is standing around the water cooler and talking about that "vampire movie" you wont have anything to contribute. "how's life Fred?" "oh..it's you know, same ol. i've got the wife on my back about the kids, you know how it goes" (mutual cheesy laughter) "And there's nothing worse than not being able to make references to pop culture with your co-workers. "so, (insert your name here) what did you think of that new teen-movie Twilight? Fred and I just loved the realism. the acting was so believable." "It's definitely going to win multiple Golden Globe awards. So what did you think (insert your name here)? It's really the only thing you have in common with them anyways.

Celebrate christmas break by watching a really bad movie starring really hot vampires. It's the best $12 + popcorn, you will ever waste. taste.

Baby it's cold outside, grab yourself a cup of folgers, the best part of waking up!

Madison Vanderberg
Princess Kimberley of the Buttercream Castle I

for every exam, for every essay

2008-12-11T04:26:00.000-08:00

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH!!!

Honest Sympathies,
Kimberley

Ed Westwick vs. Robert Pattinson?

2008-11-25T16:04:00.001-08:00

Gratuitous image of brits. Rpatz and EdWestwick. (SWEET PRINCES, I WILL TAKE RPATZ, YOU CAN HAVE ED, then we'll trade off every other week only to be fair)

High School Musical 3 - in a nutshell

2008-11-16T23:35:00.000-08:00

Kim and I just saw High School Musical 3 (we were the ONLY people in the theater) this is really the best way to watch a film ... and this about sums up the movie in a paragraph or so....

Close up on Zach efrons sweaty face. recycled basketball dance moves from the first movie! but so much more...zach and vanessa in a treehouse the nicest treehouse i've ever seen...with a roof that opens automatically WTF?!!, will they seal the deal? no! seal the deal! were in highschool! virgins! we're in a play...about highschool! lame! blah college, so much angst! we're in highschool! zach and vanessa dance in a garden - on the roof - vanessa CANT dance! did you SEE that attitude? so badly bent...ahh Prom, cuz we're in highschool! typical. Sharpae has TWO lockers and a GAY brothers but there's weird sexual tension! he acts straighter in this one however..ahhh incest and homosexuality! Corbin-Blue looks alot like a certain someone from UCLA! Im not naming names! i will! Ryan Harris?! More singing - about highschool! so much drama - about college! Zach climbs a tree, vanessae has a weird dream sequence about moving and all her picture frames disappear - then she goes to college!? WTF!? Zach and Corbin dance in a junkyard - horay for homoerotic undertones! it's not gay if it's about cars! Zach gets hella emo -goes to his highschool at night to dance? AT HIS HIGHSCHOOL (illegal) and WEARING ALL BLACK (typical emo hoodie and such. convenient use of lightning and thunder in the background. perfectly straightened hair) more gratuitous shirtess zach efron! Sharpae doesn't do anything! That weird piano girl hits on ZAch efron! get some! obvi she has a right to steal him if vanessa's character goes to stanford. even with a smaller distance, it will never work. Zach drives to stanford and climbs another tree! and jumps out of it!The skater boi dresses like a pimp and sings with sharpae! loved him. Zach and VAnessa get to the show just in time and repeat the same song - AGAIN! take my hand...i or something. Highschool! Everyone's happy and Zach goes to UC Berkeley? would he really get in? i don't even know if they have a basketball team. or a good drama program. he's a TOOL!The ENd....o and then the cast stares into the camera for an eerily long amount of time. BEST PART OF THE MOVIE

MADISON
kim - it's 2 am and i am commenting.

replacements!

2008-11-14T02:03:00.000-08:00

SNL's newest cast members:

michaela watkins (yayeh) from groundlings and abby elliot (...) (I, madison, and absolutely furious about this new hire. She's not funny!!!) from ucb.

i'm excited about watkins (yah, she's pretty much genius...maybe a new Tina Fey!!?).

madison and I agree, however, that abby is a weaker choice than expected. perhaps this seems too harsh. i revoke the "weaker" and will say, rather "interesting".

Sure she may look good on camera and may be able to do a fairly good angelina jolie, kirsten dunst, and drew barrymore impression but other than that... ;-/ ... : - ... 8 - ( ... :'[ ... emo-emoticon pressure is ON.

in other news, madtv will be canceled. R.I.P. (luckily we saw one of the last episodes ever LIVE)

in further news, i can't wait to see "BOLT", the dog movie. I hope it's better than "Bevery Hills Chihuahua" though I'm sure it won't come close to "Firehouse Dog"!!

fondly,
-kimberley
(and...madison (i cant stand abby elliot) vanderberg)
no hard feelings.

movie ideas?

2008-11-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

Sooo I'm one of those people that always go "omg, I have this idea for a movie...blah blah blah," then I write one sentence about it in my moleskine (i'm partial to the whole you-need-a-moleskine to be artsy and-or successful mentality). One of these days I'm actually going to write these movies, but untill then...I will blog about it and revel in my creative nothingness.

one-two line synopses for random ass movies...(spoiler alert: These are VERY cheesy and not to be taken seriously) (aka you take them seriously, but if we don't like them, at least you can say "i told you so")

1. A reclusive and loner girl decides to audition for the traveling circus when she becomes smitten with the lion tamer. (story of my life?)

2. An highschool virgin decides to sell his V-card on Ebay. In his quest to de-flower himself and pursue potential bidders, he is stalked by tranny, is almost assaulted by a department store santa, and reluctantly falls in love with a strange girl. (let's film this one!)

3. Jamie stalks crime scenes so that she can be relocated as a member of the witness protection program. As this neurotic and unstable girl changes cities monthly she completely changes her identity each time too. How long before something (or someone) causes her to stay in one place for good?

4. In the Sci-fi thriller, Meredith's husband died months after their wedding. She decides to clone him and carry the pregnancy. She raises her "husband" as her son but soon falls in love with him again and tries to deal with the taboo and oedipal nature of this relationship.

5. Two chronically single best friends make a bet with one another for who can find a boyfriend first. But the catch is, they can ONLY use online dating services. (ahahah worst movie ever!) (don't lie, you love this idea)

6. Jenny is 35 and has never moved out of her parents home. She is seriously socially demented, afraid of people, and has never had a job but she lusts after the strapping young UPS worker that comes by her house. Because of her newfound "crush" on Lenny the UPS guy, Jenny is determined to move out and get Lenny to fall in love with her. (oh Lenny! Is this the Lenny you've been talking about Madison?)

7. In this screwball dark comedy, 5 best friends from Highschool go on a roadtrip together after graduation. Everything seems like your typical indie film about a roadtrip until one of the friends goes bat-shit-insane and starts killing everyone off.

7. A super lame girl named Maddie needs to finish her Comm paper by tommorow while resisting the urge to blog.

That's All Folks!

(Idea 4 and 7 have unfortunately already been made. Keep it up, you have a bright future ahead of you George!)

Madison Vanderberg (Commentary provided by your Friendly Neighbourhood Kimberley)

art installment

2008-10-27T14:56:00.001-07:00

Louise Bourgeois is at the MOCA. The 96 Parisian (and still alive!) could not make it to the greater L.A. herself, but her oeuvres d'art have been stirring about. Everything from spiders to adultery, to tapestry factories, a bad childhood and her father's mistress speaks through in her works and are the latest talk of the town.

I attended the "Members Only" advanced preview on Saturday for which we had exclusive Invite Only entrance, which was a cup of delight! Not merely to the winebar free-loader or the middle-aged trend monkey but for any abstract artist, curious cat, or lover of the surreal. Just a forwarning, many a phallus sprung to the ceiling, sculptures of huge bronze spiders entrapped a bed, and vaginal symbolism signified Bougeois' anxieties and her nightmarish growing up.

A mixture of latex on bronze covered the sexual ambiguities and social implications of the feminine and masculin identities and repeated throughout many of her pieces-"fillette" made a blunt statement to the girl-boy gender struggle. One resembled a 'pig-in-a-blanket' another 'two yams interfolded'. There were many marble egg-eye-tip pieces called "cumulus", which I perceive as another relationship & sexual working- one in particular backlit in red drew many a paf. Other than the french man that followed me around every single oeuvre, trying to engage me in conversation with...his eyes, two amateurs beside me said "It's too abstract, screw it" and moved on.

I personally enjoyed the charcoal house with legs drawing, the cast-iron leg sculptures hung from the ceiling (vastly overlooked), the "7 in a bed pink" fabric dolls and most of all, "Arch of Hysteria"- the gold torso hanging and bent in a backward thrust. I walked 180 'round this hot mess. The female as a house and vagina like in her "femme-maison" was powerfully suggestive of the patriarchal dominance and the role in which the female is confined to and appears in modern society.

Realize that this avant-garde art is not for everyone. If you choose to go just for kicks and giggles, make sure you don't creep on innocent art-admirers... we can see what you're looking at and it is most definitely not art for art's sake.

As you exit, be sure to check out Kippenberger's retrospective exhibit "the Problem Perspective" for faux-photos, the fake-log pipes and magnifying glass painting collection. Watch out for the rusty-looking car with it's lights on, and the shady man beside it who may or may not ask you (as he did I) whether "this is your car?" followed by "i'm going to have to write you up for this, you can't be parking here". Nice try creeper #2, but i'm two questions in and walking five steps out the door.

Allez, Kimberley

To the right is my own artwork. The inspiration? A man with a pipe -you never see this!- on campus reading his book. I could only think of Beard Papa and how much I hate that mascot. Seen is my anxiety toward said papa who needs a good beating from someone who cares. What the heck is a Beard Papa anyway and why would anyone choose to eat such a cream puff! I will never step foot in that eatery. EVER!

d'oh

2008-10-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

aye babies, it's Maddie...

For the past year I've been really obsessed with covers of pop/hip-hop/rap songs.

Basically, if some emo slash acoustic guitar-y guy covers anything from 90's popular music or mainstream rap it is the coolest ever.

Below in list (obvi) format are some noteworthy covers. They are not the best nor my favorites, but im hella bored and I've already watched tonight's sneak peek of "30 rock" and so I have nothing else to do so I'm just gonna go on youtube and search for rando covers even tho it's a thursday night but it's ok because im sort of sick so that's my excuse for why I'm not going out and instead I'm blogging. BAY AREA!!!

1. Paper Planes - MIA

Ok, this guy, he's like "O I'm so hip because not only do I listen to super indie british amazon beats like M.I.A but I can rearrange the music and play it on my guitar bro, o and also, I have another guitar just sitting there too because I'm so cool because I have TWO guitars. I'm such a musician! Also, I'm wearing this super bro trucker hat. PUNK'D!"

2. Ice Box - Omarion

So these guys are "Boyce Avenue" (Thanks Stephen for introducing me to such gems) and are pretty much the most legit when it comes to ironic covers. Basically I'm just obsessed with the original version of "icebox," so a cover is like christmas in July. When the music video came out I pretty much watched it like every second because the choreography was the baddest. Good job Boyce Avenue!

3. Idioteque - Radio Head

remember when everyone told you to watch that youtube video of that guy with the beard doing a cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya"? Welps, it's the same guy and he is from the band Obadiah Parker. I also just really like that they are playing in front of a "quiznos". haha suburban parking lot show?!

4. Word Up - Cameo

So the video is completely gratuitous. ahhah. These are some random girls dancing to the Willis cover of "Word Up." Why did I choose a dance video and not some other you ask? Because... three years ago I did the most ballinest dance to this song with the stellar dancer Dee Caspary and I will go to my grave with the remembrance of that dance, that being said, these girls are doing a sham of a job re-creating the genius that Mr. Caspary created long ago. ulch puhleasseee!

Happy Arbor Day Northern Hemisphere,

Madison V.

N&N's

2008-10-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist is my new Juno, except now I'm totally over Juno because it's so lame or pretentious or whatever else everybody is hating about it nowadays.... (eew, ellen page)

I knew I was going to be obsessed with N&N the second it appeared on Michael Cera's IMDB page, (yes, I obsessively haunt the scrolls of IMDB checking up on my favorite bird-like imp) (aka hottie MC). Once I saw he had been cast as Nick, and that the movie was an adaption of a novel I rushed to the nearest Barnes and Noble (the one across from main place that we all went to during highschool!!!) (oh-shaah). I had anticipated buying the book, but since it was no larger than three issues of People magazine, I just read it in the store.

The book was kindof lame bonez, but I knew Cera would not disappoint on the silverscreen.

"Nick and Nora" tells the story of two "star crossed lovers" who share 24 hours in bliss and discouragement on a rampant search for their favorite band and Nora's drunken BFF. Plans go awry, people fall in and out of love, boys in skinny jeans make witty jokes, etc etc. (well said)

BUT what resonates the most in N&N's is it's simplicity and sheer "Oh how cute"-ness. Many a time I found myself shrieking in delight at every word out of Cera's mouth. If you thought he was endearing in Arrested Development and adorable in Juno, then you might just pee your pants at how painfully precious this plucky polly can purr (I really just wanted to take a stab at alliteration). (please put pasta on my plastic plate...eh..)

Some highlights are a couple of cameos (very brief) by some current SNL members. Get excited!

AND Kat Dennings is not super annoying. I was really encouraging myself to dislike her (Ahem...Ellen Page) (OMG LIAR! Madison loved Ellen Page until I made a convincing argument against it), buttt she's really good!!! (you said she's pretty)

If you enjoyed Charlie Bartlett, Before Sunrise, or the first time you saw Juno...then you will probably enjoy Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist!!!

kickin' it maverick style,

Madison Vanderberg

(BUT WAIT! you left out MY favourite part of the movie, the hot stereotypical jewish club-hoppers...look out for their new CD!)

untill the MEGA-post...

2008-10-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

So...satisfy yourself with this until I write something good...

I recently/finally saw the 90's film, "The Crow" - with the late Brandon Lee (pictured right) (left?), and was totally dumbfounded with the many similarities between this movie and "The Dark Knight." (split screen shown above) (that movie was balls-out!)

Ledger's Joker not only looked alot like Brandon's Crow, but his delivery, dialogue, and maniacal tom-foolery (oh tom...) were almost identical, except I think Ledger's performance is more nuanced in some degrees.

Additionally, "The Crow" takes place in a fictional city very much like "Gotham" city and the police constantly use verbiage such as, searching for a "dark vigilante" who is "creating chaos/disorder." (both very visual and visceral verbs)

I don't think Nolan or Ledger stole from "The Crow", but the similarities are hard to ignore AND I'm not the first person to notice this (obvi), I did some "research" (stalking) and found many a site dedicated to these two films. And Sadly, both Ledger and Lee died prematurely at the age of 28 during or after filming on both these movies.

I promise a very fluffy/superficial Maddie-style blog in the near future most likely covering disney channel or gossip girl! (let's go see Where's Fluffy! Tonight! behind the trashcan next to the hobo in the tree!)

Ridiculously yours,

Madison. (dawggggz!)

manhandling

2008-10-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be cool as cuc. to wall-war cheesy pickup lines on Madison's f-book profile. Feel free to add us to your 'friends' list as we both reap benefits of seeming popularity. Now as for manhandling, I absolutely adore a man who can handle his words so eloquently (man-hand-ling) like the dance of a dozen doves driving down dips of doom (or the dive of a dapper dervish, delighting in a daunting dream)

Specifically what I had in mind was the brilliant idea to create rave-friendly lines which one may drop in concurrence with E. For those getting their colourful candy and light-shows ready 'fore the next Monster Massive (we might hit up Hard) be sure to check out said lines on our facebook wall-walls. It's the only place you will find them (on blogue we keep it P & G- for playas n' gangstas. Refer to R for ravers here)

The following are a combination of the cr
ême de la cr
ême, or as I like to call it, the best worst lines I found within the minute.

User Debbie, from one anonymous blog posted this handy advice for "young ladies":

Debbie said...: I advise young ladies to try the following line: "Do you need to borrow a sewing kit? Because you're so ripped." Based on my knowledge of the male psyche, I assume that this will sweep a desirable bachelor off his feet.

This one was a personal favourite: Somebody call Animal Control because I just spotted a fox! (this is my favorite!)

I'll end with one of my own: (it helps if you put on a 'hood accent.(ooo, i love doing this!) if you find yourself marking the checkbox to "stuff white people like" on white men trying to act gangster, perhaps you should consult Madison. word on the row is that she loves these types (what!?!? not true. ?)

"Oo Boy! You so fine, you finer than a Montrachet 1978 bottle of wine" (the perfect man would say such poetry)

If you fit the tee, simply use this line after culturing yourself, please.

Warm Prospects,
Kim "Brr" ley

short & easy

2008-09-30T23:55:00.000-07:00

Here's the skinny: do not see "The Women". Other than its disgrace to the play (and apparently the '39 film) (which is really nothing like the movie), the director is quite the novice and the entire movie in itself is a mess. To save you from wasting a $9 matinee ticket, i'll just tell you that the movie ends in a low-angle shot of a newborn baby being carried in the arms of a nurse reminiscient of the messiah-stork situation (when did Jesus and a stork ever appear in the same situation?). If my description seems intriguing, I've deceived you quite thoroughly and apologize for it.

Perhaps the aesthetics of the cinematography or fashion can be appreciated like the overbearingly gaudy cloud wallpaper background of the janky ol' hospital, or the z-gallerie house that Meg Ryan resides in (much like r. crowes house in "body of lies," I swear it was the same house), but other than that VERY LITTLE BIT OF LIGHT, the movie is a complete Era of Darkness to which one never recovers. Madison liked it for it's ridiculous nature (though refuses to admit) (I admit, re: my last post, I honestly appreciate most crappy films. "The Women" provided me with the same sort of glow that did "Homer in Cyberspace" ), however, I strongly recommend that if it's inevitable that you watch it, see the play first and then the movie if not simply to bitch about how bad of a job Director Diane English did.

She could have done so much more with the script. The original play itself is a satire on wealthy women and their social routines, not to mention drives feminist empowerment (an all-woman cast). Ok, I'll admit I did the play back in high school, but it was hugely a success and I had dads and men who you would't have expected enjoying the play and finding it refreshing to see the woman's point of view. This, however, is all a moot pt.

Instead Jada Pinkett Smith plays a lesbian which is minorly entertaining borderline trying-too-hard (ulch her attempt at comedy was painful to watch re: the hospital scene), Eva Mendes plays the one role she knows how (the slutty eye-candy), while Annette Benning and Debra Messing rely on being the slightly comedic best friends (These two were horribly underwhelming. Messing should have just reprised her "Will & Grace" role, it would have been funnier than what she attempted). To be honest, Bette Midler's many-times-divorced-but-doesn't-give-a-damn Hollywood agent character is the best part. Ryan and Benning have a cute scene in which they argue and end up crying and laughing about it, but other than 3 decent parts, the movie is a no-go.

I'm not even providing links or pictures in this blog. Negative 2 punches.

R.I.P. Clare Boothe Luce (nice out),
Kimberley
and....Madison (I have class in 5 mins!!)

relativity, my dear watson

2008-09-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that everything is relative. Today's blog is about sports (blah!) (gross) since we've yet to see some real man action on this blog. I was working with my french coworker (everyone there is, in fact, french) and in walks an almost-bald somewhat charming-looking man about 6 feet tall (probably less, but I was sitting). I stared at him curiously because at this point my coworker was bumbling about trying to help him find exactly what he needed (information for his friend who just moved to town). Little did I know, this being is some sort of futbol god to french. He won the 1998 FIFA world cup for her country (Soccer is huge in europe). This is him: (see bald guy in middle).

This short-lived memory really got me thinking about sports, arts, and the overarching theme of interests in general. For example, if Madison met Bob Fosse we might have to put her in an insane asylum. If I met Baryshnikov or my dad's long-time hero Jackie Chan, we'll call it a very-good day. However, give me a famous soccer star like Frank Leboeuf or an All-Star quarterback and good luck getting so much as an 'oh that's...cool' from me. (If I met michael phelps i'd probably eat my hand. fact. )

Were it basketball or hockey, I might blink my eyes in pseudowonderment, but football...really? Even UCLA players like "Pat Cowan" who is apparently a quarterback? for our team gets people pretty shakey. Not I, said the cat. (ulch collegiate athletes)

I suppose it remains that people should always remember that their interests are never the same, and what might be a scientist's gem for some could be just another Picasso for the uncultured. ...especially during his Blue Period. (perfect outro!)

Kim bar lee

mad eye son

but really...

2008-09-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my absence (absinthe?) Kim has been like crazy updating (too much, really), I can't keep up...anyways...so last night I was having a conversation with a friend over why I avidly consume such tragic television programming such as "90210" "Gossip Girl" and "The Hills." (i think this post makes up for "lost time"*)

I am no casual target audience (cocktail waiters, millionaires, heirs to family fortunes), I have seen every episode of these shows(except "the hills." I've only completely watched seasons 1, 3 and 4) and I experience something similar to withdrawal symptoms as I wait for new episodes. (too true. I saw her cringing in the corner cradling a life-sized version of Spencer)

So then I decided to reevalute my tastes and basically I realized that I like things that are really really bad. As in crappy movies, bad dialogue, romantic comedies, 80's commercials, home shopping networks, mcdonalds...etc (we have similar tastes...don't forget about Cats the musical)

This appreciation of all things janky (good w.c.*) can be sorted into two categories:

1. So bad that it's a work of genius

or

2. So bad that some 14 year olds in suburban areas will genuinely appreciate it.

Here are a list of my favorite #1-type lame-fests

-"The Dark Crystal"

I am eerily obsessed with anything created by Jim Henson...but this movie is just ridiculous. My little sister used to watch this movie like everyday for a couple years when she was like 8. This movie is not quite the masterpiece that is "The Labryinth" but it comes in a close second. Ohhh I heart you Mr. Henson and your bizarre sense of everything! (I love kerms)

-"The Worst Witch"

Tim Curry. Horrible FX. British Accents. What could be better? (can we stay in and watch this on all hallows eve?)

-1980's McDonalds Commercials

When I was younger I used to watch old video tapes of random TV shows my parents watched in the 80's, but not for the content of the television programming, I would watch to see the commercials.

I love commercials from the 80's! I also love McDonalds! Nobody likes Mcdonalds, commercials, or the 80's! I love everything! This is so beautiful it sucks! (this is genius at it's finest, actually)

Now here are some of my favorite..."so bad but people who watch the disney channel will appreciate it"-type stuff

- "Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County"

Newport Harbor is the less rich, fame-whoring little sister of Laguna Beach. It's a spin-off of a spin-off. sort of?

Those who thought Laguna Beach was an embarassment to youth culture, probably think that The Hills is a pathetic and voyeuristic (*see below) exploitation of banality, but with Newport Harbor these same people might be driven to acts of homicide.

It has less attractive people, super lame drama, vague attempts at "scripting" scenarios which just get confusing, and not nearly rich enough kids. ulch...so rewarding!

-Hannah Montana

obvi.

-"Brink"

Back in it's heydey, Disney used to churn out one DCOM (disney channel original movie) each month. Some of the progenitors (Johhny Tsunami, Zenon, Motocrossed) were seriously captivating, soon Disney started making too many "fluffy" DCOM's (the thirteenth year, luck of the irish, eddies million dollar cook-off) and it started going downhill.

But BRINK represents the best of the worst when disney was still making good bad good movies..? what?

...besides who doesn't love Eric von Detten ("escape to witch mountain" anyone?) (what a dream) annnddd that dude that played that bully rollerblader was recently the "wildcard-beauty" contestant on Beauty and the Geek. How sad to see a former disney channel starlett on reality TV... : (

Congratulations to those who read the whole thing... (we appreciate you!)

obsessively yours,
Madison

(* time does not exist
*word choice
*A voyeur is:

1. A person who derives sexual gratification from observing the naked bodies or sexual acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point.

2. An obsessive observer of sordid or sensational subjects.)

Paranthetically, Kimberley

chia pets are the worst pets

2008-09-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

...FACT. Plus I always thought that Chia Pets would be full of dirty little seeds and wet grass (not that I've ever owned one). Whoever owns a Chia Pet should be slapped in the face for buying such tasteless tv goulash. Get yourself a nice-looking fish and call it a day. Or if you absolutely must, maybe you can put Mr. T on your windowsill! (i think there should be chia bling...like gold chains with chia "grass" growing on dollar signs)

All of this chia-nonsense came about from HAIR. (when I was 10 I did a tap dance to "aquarius." ) I'm not sure why I was browsing 'hair' on youtube but I guess, anything to pass the time.

I advise you to skip to around 1:40, which is the juicier bits (though maybe I'm just easily entertained). If i find any other vids, I'll keep you posted . For now, this and then google "HARD GAY". It's not what you think, I swear...

Conservatively*, Kimberley

*this in response to "Hard Gay", no political affiliation intended ..and Madington

(this reminds me of "full metal jacket" which I prefer)

your arrow-loop into politics

2008-09-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Last time I read the news, the polar bears in Japan's zoo were still green from algae (Sept. 8, to be exact-BBC News). I don't know why I did it, but I browsed google images for a picture of green bear and out popped this little guy: >>>>

Since when do bears wear bowties and tophats?
On their way to work in Geneva, of course!

Silliness aside, it should be noted that I also like checking up on the Huffington Post once in a while and I prefer BBC to CNN. If you're more of a wide-eyed fresher, here are some professorial opinions on the latest election.

As for Sarah Palin's emails getting hacked, peep these screenshots. According to BBC News:

"Mrs Palin is being investigated in Alaska for alleged abuse of power while governor of the state."

This definitely hurts her cred (all irony aside) & I'm anxious to see what next week' s SNL will look like. As for personal emails, I sympathize slightly with having her email hacked (i imagine it's something like having your friends hack into your facebook account), it just sucks.

And maybe it's the skeptic in me, but I find it fishy that hackers were able to change the password with Yahoo to 'popcorn' of all things. That's the best they could come up with? I think the media lied to us somewhere...

As if that wasn't enough, the newspeople are calling the hackers "hacktivists" from a Scientology group.

UGH!

For juicier scandal and less politics, try this tranny and make sure to check out the latest Jobros gossip.

Signed Fondly (archaic),
Kimberley

living forever is a lot like...

2008-09-17T13:26:00.001-07:00

MGM's remaking the '80s hit "Fame" !

The movie is about musically talented kids doing hoodrat things. Fame is pretty much the highschool experience of a lifetime! (our alma mater pales in comparison). Put your leg-warmers on and tell your agent you want an audition!

Kimberley (Chumscrubber) Wong

hot handle!

2008-09-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

You know the drill. Commentary in Italics. Today's epi by Ms. Wong, annotation by Mad-berg.

This just in! Center Stage 2: Turn It Up comes to the tele in Nov '08. (straight to tele? ahh! wait? I wanted to audition for this :( boo...) That's just two months away! (punch it). Unlike Bring It On: In it to Win, CS2 is something to look forward to. (the newest installment is actually called "Bring it On: Cinco."Just fyi...)

I for one have swooned over Ethan Stiefel in the first movie where we learned that ballet = sex. (obvi) But now he's an aged 35-some (I did the wikimath) and doubt arises as to whether he can still do the splits while consummating (i.e. has he still got the sperm)? Certainly, yes.

Do yourself a favour and rent Center Stage #1. I have my two copies on VHS! Or if you'd prefer, there's a hilarious in-depth synopsis written by a natural Borowitz. Here's to taste:

"To ease Jody's stress, Eva decides that she and Charlie, Erik, and Sergi will take her out. They go to a salsa club where Jody and Charlie dance and flirt while Sergi gets hit on by an old barfly"

"Meanwhile, Jim meets Maureen outside ABA and asks her out. (ulch, I loathed Maureen, remember what a swizzed up bz stick she was? ulch, and like threw up her food on that boat or whatever. And Jim was like super cute. so annoying) She accepts. Jody goes to take a dance class somewhere else in New York, because she is tired of taking criticism for her ballet dancing. (yah, she had perfect turnout, great feet, but didn't fit the archetypal ballet body.)During the Broadway dance class, Cooper comes in to assist/dance. (actually, he kinda "crashed" the class. In the non-movie version of this dance studio, a act like that would be frowned apon. Class etiquette really.) After the class, Cooper convinces Jody to come back to his place for "dessert"*. They drink wine. They have sex. (this was so unbelievable...everyone knows male ballet dancers aren't straight.)"

*My lifelong fantasy is to attend a similar workout led by Cooper Nielson followed by "dessert".

SYNOPSIS HERE

Kimberley

(hey kim remember when we imdb-ed Ethan Stiefel recently and discovered he was super old and living with a man?)