People, the people

"whatever happened to that amazing blog by Kim & Madz?"-  The Internet 

I know guys, I know. People want da punch! We want da punch! Our boxing gloves may have been tied up for a while but thanks to Numbers & Data, we are back for Round 2 (ding ding!) which I am calling the "Rhonda Rhousey Roundhouse Punch"...round.

Is this a roundhouse punch? I don't know.

da PUNCH statistics show that more than 16 people have dropped by our site in the past 2 months (That's a lot of people, and way more interest than ever considering the last time we punched was around 2011 or so!).

On behalf of the two of us, we apologize with a "Sorry not sorry" for ol' Time's sake, but now we're back & here's an exclusive life update!:

Madz and I are still living together, but in a new apartment that is less impressive than our last, i.e. THIS

  

...but really, I would like to know who is living in that turtle home, if it truly exists or if it is a falsified photoshopped reverie, and if not, then is it perhaps for sale and when can i occupy it?

In all honesty though, we have a clear view of one of America's most famous big box grocers from our kitchen window, and often times, late at night, if we're lucky enough, the Drunks of Westside sing to us in their loud bellowing voices.  

Some may liken its unsightly building walls to that of a cement hellhole, but I know there are worse out there and the people are nice.  We have young mid-late 20's neighbors and one kid across the way is a violin aficionado, though at the tender age of 22 has told us he is too old to realize his dreams as a musical professional.   I recently watched a Jean-luc Ponty interview in which he states that pretty much anyone over the age of consent is too old to go pro if they haven't already.  How sad is that? In his defense, he's mostly referring to adults who are learning violin for the first time and mentions that "Hand Technique" must be learned at an early age.  But STILL. I hope this kid sticks with it and takes the piss on industry conventions though, because what's the point in living if you can't live your dreams or at least try?  Plus, by the adult age, I'm sure he's got plenty of hand technique experience that could potentially help in his future career.   

"The left-hand thumb can be a help or a hindrance. When kept in check, it orients our left hand within a position while providing a counter-pressure for the finger action (...) When it goes overboard it can cripple the left hand, leading to issues with finger accuracy and velocity, vibrato, shifting, and playing health. Since the thumb does not play any notes, it needs to do only what will support the other four fingers and their actions" -Liberation Movement

See what I mean?

Speaking of dreams, I recently met an impossibly cute AXOLOTL.  Let me preface this by saying I first learned of "axolotls" after watching a japanese anime where I saw the little pink guy floating around the lead anime girl's tank.  I thought it was just a made up animal, but the subtitles gave it a name so I decided to sleuth about the interwebz and guess what? 

Totally Real! Crazily enough, the aquarium guy I go to to buy regular "fish & frog" items just got 2 axolotls in for the first time ever!  Since seeing them live, I have spent every waking moment dedicated to daydreaming about my life with my pet axolotl (aka water dog).  After looking into it further, it appears they are definitely illegal to own in the state we are currently living in...but let's just say, if fate happens, I'm not going to stop it.  

truly, madly, deeply,
Kimberley

  

The Tiniest Mote of Dust

Hi dogs, dawgz, and doggingtons,

(can someone please buy me a french bulldog already so that i can dress him up as a dragon for halloween?)

the last few posts have been terrible. Like, Terri Hatcher terrible.

On account of the recent business going on in our lives...
Here's just an indy-sample of what's going on.

Recent News: our new apartment is rather large, has a beautiful pool, and is across an apartment that used to house the Lakers basketball players, according to our bizarre, but very awesome, artisticly-inclined Sag-unionized photographer/painter cum Landlord. We are living with Robert England, our best guy friend, and one Jovo V. who happens to look and sound exactly like Aziz Ansari. I'd say it's an altogether win.

More Recent News: Kimberley is in a show in which she's getting paid and housed to perform at. Madison is working on a reality tv series for her celebrity gossip blog real-life-writing-job.

Even More Recent News than That: It's OKTOBER, as the germans would say. Happy Oktoberfest mein freunde!

-Kimberley and Madison (who is sleeping and has been since 8pm)

saving private ryan

that last post was prettttty dumb. but only because i ran out of things to say and thought it would be best to spew out blabber than keep things quiet on the western front.

we've been busy, needless to say, having various little projects to occupy our existences. if this were livejournal, we'd be complaining in true emo fashion about how Todd, the hottie next door never asked us to prom, how mom bought us a frockish shirt that looks ridiculous and should never be worn by anyone ever, or how no one cares about anyone else but themselves because we are egoists and please sympathize with me so we can bond over our livejournal entries and feel the internet connecting us in ways that make us seem closer to one another but which only lack that human interaction we strived for in the first place. it's almost hypocritical to write these blaggings in the first place. to blog. to have blogged. to blag.

a. writing
b. auditioning
c. performing
d. working
e. reading
f. painting
g. eating
h. sleeping
i. meeting
j. moving

this is all you are going to get until we get our ducks in a row.

frizzle day

The lot of you might be wondering lately "WHY DID MADI GET A SEPARATE TWITTER ACCOUNT?". what next? separate BLOGS?
and i'm terribly sorry...you'll have to ask madison herself.
we are still roomates. bffs. best gullies fo' lyfe...but the water is rising and our island of ridiculousthingsbestfriendsdotogether is slowly sinking. like venice...but heartshaped (she also threw out the matching bracelets i bought her so now half of the ship is missing..."friend" is floating in the toilet)

on My end, i will answer emosk8rkevin, 14 from Kentucky's question: "Who started it all anyway? Also where's the best place to buy sick trucks for my board?"

Well Kevin, I am the glorious creator/namer of both dapunch and of our twitter account . ... you're welcome.

KingCharles 54 of La Cienega asks: WHY kimberley? whyyy?

Good King Charles (if that is your REAL name) It was yet another lonely night in the crib waiting for maddie to come home. i was in front of old Dino, my pink vaio laptop, eating bitesized pizzapockets fresh from the microwave and wondering how many hours had passed since she'd left for work...that damned thing that makes you money. outside the sun seemed to instantly turn to moon. tired of waiting and in hopes of instant communication with the one i call DOG, i set up the JOINT twitter. then the JOINT blog. and my fascination with all things JOINT led to a bankaccount and the rest is history.

i mean TOTAL STRANGERS started sending large sums ($ well in the 1000's) to nondescript locations in black briefcases bedazzled with blood diamonds that spelled out "kimandmadz", it was as if the gods (we only subscribe to hephaestus, god of fire and juno, teen pregnancy character played by actress ellen page) were smiling upon us.

dogbonelover44 asks "are your feelings hurt?"

well dogbonelover--not really. maddie rarely tweeted, and when she did it was always about "dance class with somegirl aka not me" or "celebrity gossip" and "whatnot" so the only thing i'll miss is the anonymity joint-tweeting allowed us. now you'll KNOW it's me tweeting unless maddie happens to bombard the tweetstream with hobgob nonsense.

and strangely enough, our following went up by 1 twit after she left...so let's hope it's all uphill from hereafter!

that's all the time i have to respond to your questions today folks. it's been real. OH and before i forget, Kevin-- a good place to buy skateboard anything is at Flipside. I buy all my decks, waxes, griptapes, etc there...if you're close to Pacudah, Kentucky. and if you're single, there's bound to be an emogirl working the front registers for you...

PUNCH-ON
Kimberley

dont try to sell me that!

this is why you don't answer the door to strangers because on the other side will stand an out-of-breath highschool girl trying to sell you a subscription to USA Today and even though you explain to her that USA Today isn't a real newspaper she tells you that it will help her go to a school like UCLA one day so she asks if you would like to make a donation instead and because your parents made you go to church when you were younger this out-of-breath girl is making you feel guilty so you say hold on one minute and look for your purse but you don't feel that guilty anymore and you're not sure that you trust this out-of-breath girl, so you apologize and say you're going to close the door for a minute and you wonder if she'll think that you just found a way to get rid of her even though you are actually looking for your purse and you find your purse but you only have one dollar and you lost you checkbook 6 months ago anyways and you wonder if giving one dollar is worse than just keeping the door shut and hoping she walks away and this thought takes up the span of oh about 27 seconds and you say fuck it and go back out to the front door and the girl is still standing there beaming and she's not out of breath anymore and you say here you go and hand her the dollar and start to shut the door because the interaction is making you feel guilty again and the girl calls you "Miss" and that makes you feel old and then as you shut the door and head back to your room to continue reading the elitist memoir bullshit that you like to read so much you hear the doorbell of your neighbors house ring and a familiar voice chime out "Sorry to bother you but…"

-something that happened to me just now. the boring life of madi v.

"June is busting out all over"

I'd like to start this post off with a "Hello there. How have you been? It's been awhile hasn't it?" I've been reading up on a few different bouquins...mostly old plays that I once performed aka "The Heiress", "Steel Magnolias", "The Dining Room", and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", and more specifically, I've been reading them aloud.

That is to say, if one were to happen upon my room en route to the "main" bathroom, they would hear me speaking in different accents, voices, and characters. I'd seem a bit schizo to the passerby, but it's good to get into a groove and read the words of the playwright in the way they were supposed to be read.

I am also reading Tina Fey's "Bossy Pants" (which finally got to me, as Madison originally made the purchase and the book made the usual "roomate rounds" and I was last out of the four of us to receive it)--you can tell how poor our apartment is when we start to ration our book time. I'm also slowly getting through Marlon Brando's autobiography "Songs My Mother Taught Me", Marcel Proust's biography "Monsieur Proust" en francais, and lastly, a book that I absolutely love yet have been trudging through due to various external activities that have taken up most of my time, "What's Mine is Yours: Collaborative Consumption". You can guess what that one's about.

In regards to the telly, it is all "internet" and "my usual British shows" (aka The Inbetweeners, Misfits, Skins, Shameless, AbFab, Posh Nosh, Doctor Who) or the ever so classy "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" ...the latter being influenced by my girly roomates.

I've also started (now featured on Hulu.com) "The Book Group", an English comedy about a small book group that gets together and discusses whatever book they've chosen for the week--aka their messed up personal lives. So far it seems decent, though i've only watched the pilot episode and you-know-how-that-sort-of-thing-can-go.

Job-wise, Madison is now working at a gossip blog. She's finally putting the pen to the paper and though it may not be the wga-winning script she'll one-day write, it's a great start. And she's good at that "pop-culture, gossipy stuff". I would never have known about Blake Lively and whatshisface from the Titanic if it weren't for her. Oh. Leonardo DiCaprio. That's right.

On my end, I am about to travel to France for the third time in my life. I've quit my part-time serving job to pursue my full-time acting job, but i've kept my other part-time job at the Academy so that I can make some money while traveling this seemingly suicidal yet only worthy career path I have chosen for myself. Call it insanity, what you will, my plan is to finish up the play I'm in (oh yes, I'm also in a play which ends early July), go to Paris and truly live for a month, and then come back to L.A. and commit myself fully to get what needs to be done, done.

June gloom has been exiled from our apartment. It's all about the June buchachi, referring to the title of this post as this song lyric is not so subtly perverse. Yes, Rogers and Hammerstein, i'm talking to you! This was a real nice clam bake until you riddled your entire musical with sexual connotation...Polliwogs never turning into frogs?... My Boy BILL?--please tell June, from me, to stop busting out all over the meadow and the hills! It's disgusting and frankly my darlings, I could do without it.

Come see my play this weekend and the next, as posted via our joint twitter account that I secretly set up a few years back against Maddie's wishes, but which she now secretly enjoys because she gets the perks of tweeting without all of the responsibility . If not...I'll see you when I get back from France, if I do not end up staying there for the rest of my life.

A+++
Kimberley

The main differences between college and not college

Earlier in 2011, Kimberley wrote a humbling post about the trials and tribulations of doing this whole "following-your-dreamz-being-an-adult-thing." So now, it's my turn. In true to Maddie fashion (i.e. avoiding having emotions, turning something serious into something silly) here's my attempt at the "meow-here's-my-feelings-on-post-grad-euphoria" blog.

I give you, The Main Differences between College and NOT College.

In college you might hear this conversation on a Thursday night.

Person A: "It's Thursday. Wanna go to Bruco?"

Person B: "omigod I haven't been drunk since Tuesday. Yessssss. Hold on, I need to buy an American Apparel slut dress first."

In NOT college, you might hear this phrase on a Thursday night.

Person A: "It's Thursday, what are we doing?"

Person B: "Well, I have to be at my fake job (i.e. waitressing) tomorrow at like noon, so I kinda need my sleep..."

Person A: "It's ok. I know a bar where we can wear pants and not have to talk to anyone. We can also not even drink and go home at like 11.30pm"

Person B: "omigod. That sounds sooo goood. I'll not drink and drive all of us!"

In college, a normal diet consists of:

-LA Waters

-Those loaded steak fries from buck fiddies.

-Animal crackers from vending machines.

-soy milk.

In NOT college, a normal diet consists of:

-nothing

-popsicles

-waiting for popsicles to melt and pretending to eat.

-expired soy milk.
kim: it should be noted that on more than one occasion, we took midnight runs to the local Ralph's to buy boxes of various-flavoured popsi's.

In college, every friday morning at 10am I made this phone call

me: "Hi, manager of Bubba Gumps? I'm sick (i.e. hungover) again and cant come in to work today. Thanks"

In NOT college, every friday morning at 10am I made this phone call

me: "Hi, this is Madison from Tower Energy group (i.e. the oil company). Your 401K investment portfolio has changed and I wanted to make sure your pay period deductions were correct. Thanks"

Things that are important to you in College:

-Running into one of the cast members from Entourage while you ate at Urth cafe on your lunch break from your internship at that production company.

-Having lots of campus "activities" and internships on your resume so that you'll have a job lined up right when you graduate. hah.

-Telling family friends about your "plans for the future."

-Not worrying.

Things that are important to you in NOT College:

-Listening to your mom's friends talk about "the older Vanderberg girl. She's living in LA? trying to be a writer? Comedy? What does she do again? I thought she went to college? What a shame."

-Working less than 25 hours a week and making the same amount of money as people who work 40 hours.

-wishing your parents never let you go to art high school or ever uttered the phrase "follow your dreams."

-NOT having to ever write a paper ever again that includes the words "socialization" "adolescents" and/or "early traumatic experiences" F*$# you UCLA sociology department.

Happy birthday 'Merica. Your welcome. <3Maddie