A couple weeks ago I was stalking some semi-famous people on facebook and I came across the facebook profiles of the less-impressive cast members of SNL (fred armisen, jason sudeikis etc) and I decided to add them as friends i tried to friend david maklovitch of Chromeo. They still haven't added me back however. This brings me to the topic of todays blog.
5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD SEE TWILIGHT EVEN IF YOU NEVER READ THE BOOKS OR THINK ITS GOING TO SUCK OR SOME OTHER REASON THAT IS KEEPING YOU FROM SEEING IT:
1. ROBERT PATTINSON: This is really a no-brainer. EVERY girl, and I mean EVERY girl had a crush on him when he played CEDRIC DIGGORY in Harry Potter drool worthy. Even the select few of us who lusted after Rupert Grint changed our minds and fell for the model-cherub-boy-wonder. He's practically Zac Efron 2.0 personally, i think Jasper (jackson rathbone) is much hotter. i'd doubletap that
2. So you can tell everyone how much you disliked Kristin Stewart:
As much as people cry themselves to sleep over Rob Pattinson, they equally loathe Kristin Stewart. She was that annoying hippie in INTO THE WILD, Jodie Fosters daughter in PANIC ROOM, and if you are as creepy as I am then you remember when she was in CATCH THAT KID with Corbin Bleu. Basically, she plays that same offputting, im so arogant, im squinting my eyes cuz I'm an actor, I was never on the disney channel - thing in every movie! It's horribly unbearable to watch on screen. You need to see twilight so when you complain about her, it's justified. you will especially hate her when rpatz pins her down on a boulder ever-so seductively
3. IT'S FUNNY:
It's funny because I don't think it EVER intended to be at all humerous. There are so many close up's of furrowing brows, exclamations of love (i.e. "You are my life now Bella" "you're like my own personal brand of heroin"), candid highschool dialgoue ("Hey Bella how do my boobs look in this dress?") etc etc. It takes itself so seriously. It's probably funnier than MARLEY AND ME, so see twilight instead. "wh-wha-what? nn noo, you..you..cccan't..luhluhleave me."
4. What other movie are you going to see instead?
REally? WHat are you going to see other than twilight? THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL? hardly. 4 CHRISTMASES? nix. What about one of those "oscar" films? MILK, GRAN TORINO, THE WRESTLER? psh. wasteful to see anything other than TWILIGHT. Bolt is always an option...
5. There are 3 more films in the franchise to be made:
If you don't see twilight you will be out of the pop culture loop for the NEXT 3 YEARS as they release the next three book-to-screen adaptations. If you don't see this movie you will be so confused why bella is upset in NEW MOON, or what's wrong with Jacob in ECLIPSE, or how it ends in BREAKING DAWN. You won't see Twilight, and then you wont see any of the future installments and then when everyone at work is standing around the water cooler and talking about that "vampire movie" you wont have anything to contribute. "how's life Fred?" "oh..it's you know, same ol. i've got the wife on my back about the kids, you know how it goes" (mutual cheesy laughter) "And there's nothing worse than not being able to make references to pop culture with your co-workers. "so, (insert your name here) what did you think of that new teen-movie Twilight? Fred and I just loved the realism. the acting was so believable." "It's definitely going to win multiple Golden Globe awards. So what did you think (insert your name here)? It's really the only thing you have in common with them anyways.
Celebrate christmas break by watching a really bad movie starring really hot vampires. It's the best $12 + popcorn, you will ever waste. taste.
Baby it's cold outside, grab yourself a cup of folgers, the best part of waking up!
Madison Vanderberg
Princess Kimberley of the Buttercream Castle I
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