The main differences between college and not college

Earlier in 2011, Kimberley wrote a humbling post about the trials and tribulations of doing this whole "following-your-dreamz-being-an-adult-thing." So now, it's my turn. In true to Maddie fashion (i.e. avoiding having emotions, turning something serious into something silly) here's my attempt at the "meow-here's-my-feelings-on-post-grad-euphoria" blog.

I give you, The Main Differences between College and NOT College.

In college you might hear this conversation on a Thursday night.

Person A: "It's Thursday. Wanna go to Bruco?"

Person B: "omigod I haven't been drunk since Tuesday. Yessssss. Hold on, I need to buy an American Apparel slut dress first."

In NOT college, you might hear this phrase on a Thursday night.

Person A: "It's Thursday, what are we doing?"

Person B: "Well, I have to be at my fake job (i.e. waitressing) tomorrow at like noon, so I kinda need my sleep..."

Person A: "It's ok. I know a bar where we can wear pants and not have to talk to anyone. We can also not even drink and go home at like 11.30pm"

Person B: "omigod. That sounds sooo goood. I'll not drink and drive all of us!"

In college, a normal diet consists of:

-LA Waters

-Those loaded steak fries from buck fiddies.

-Animal crackers from vending machines.

-soy milk.

In NOT college, a normal diet consists of:

-nothing

-popsicles

-waiting for popsicles to melt and pretending to eat.

-expired soy milk.
kim: it should be noted that on more than one occasion, we took midnight runs to the local Ralph's to buy boxes of various-flavoured popsi's.

In college, every friday morning at 10am I made this phone call

me: "Hi, manager of Bubba Gumps? I'm sick (i.e. hungover) again and cant come in to work today. Thanks"

In NOT college, every friday morning at 10am I made this phone call

me: "Hi, this is Madison from Tower Energy group (i.e. the oil company). Your 401K investment portfolio has changed and I wanted to make sure your pay period deductions were correct. Thanks"

Things that are important to you in College:

-Running into one of the cast members from Entourage while you ate at Urth cafe on your lunch break from your internship at that production company.

-Having lots of campus "activities" and internships on your resume so that you'll have a job lined up right when you graduate. hah.

-Telling family friends about your "plans for the future."

-Not worrying.

Things that are important to you in NOT College:

-Listening to your mom's friends talk about "the older Vanderberg girl. She's living in LA? trying to be a writer? Comedy? What does she do again? I thought she went to college? What a shame."

-Working less than 25 hours a week and making the same amount of money as people who work 40 hours.

-wishing your parents never let you go to art high school or ever uttered the phrase "follow your dreams."

-NOT having to ever write a paper ever again that includes the words "socialization" "adolescents" and/or "early traumatic experiences" F*$# you UCLA sociology department.

Happy birthday 'Merica. Your welcome. <3Maddie