dont try to sell me that!

this is why you don't answer the door to strangers because on the other side will stand an out-of-breath highschool girl trying to sell you a subscription to USA Today and even though you explain to her that USA Today isn't a real newspaper she tells you that it will help her go to a school like UCLA one day so she asks if you would like to make a donation instead and because your parents made you go to church when you were younger this out-of-breath girl is making you feel guilty so you say hold on one minute and look for your purse but you don't feel that guilty anymore and you're not sure that you trust this out-of-breath girl, so you apologize and say you're going to close the door for a minute and you wonder if she'll think that you just found a way to get rid of her even though you are actually looking for your purse and you find your purse but you only have one dollar and you lost you checkbook 6 months ago anyways and you wonder if giving one dollar is worse than just keeping the door shut and hoping she walks away and this thought takes up the span of oh about 27 seconds and you say fuck it and go back out to the front door and the girl is still standing there beaming and she's not out of breath anymore and you say here you go and hand her the dollar and start to shut the door because the interaction is making you feel guilty again and the girl calls you "Miss" and that makes you feel old and then as you shut the door and head back to your room to continue reading the elitist memoir bullshit that you like to read so much you hear the doorbell of your neighbors house ring and a familiar voice chime out "Sorry to bother you but…"

-something that happened to me just now. the boring life of madi v.