gabbing gabby...Kimberley Rants about Rats and Feral Cats

I've been wondering about the rat situation in Los Angeles lately.

Is there one? Do they exist?

Only in sewers, perhaps.

But I imagine rats multiply rather quickly, thus you (predominantly I) wonder just HOW MANY rats there are and if they ever do come out into the open and Why are they such unsanitary critters? It Fascinates me to the bone that they are virtually in every major city and get around quite easily, or seem to (ie. the Bubonic Plague, boats to/from Italy, etc). I wonder if they are as nice as Remy from Ratatouille! (Not really... i'm just being dumb on this little rant here).

Upon further investigation (as I pondered whether the City and the Greater Los Angeles Area put out traps, pesticides, or had some sort of scientific and urbanly planned devices at play) I found THIS! : "Just in Case You and Your Home are Suffering from Rats" --I would have titled it. I almost (al-moooost) feel sorry for those guys, they get a real bad rap from the media (excluding Remy, of course...)

Apparently, however, there ARE systems at work (just like the magical unseen workers who cut the university grass at late hours for our next-day viewing pleasure)...the Rat Patrol. More formally known as the LAPD's FERAL CATS.

I wonder if they look as deadly as this and if so, then well, i guess it makes sense that rats would flee from fear.

I'm happy to be a Human.

Da Beezy Bronx Beat

Whilst in France (Lyon to be exact), I learned how to make crêpes with a Normal Pan, Normal Flour, Normal Butter, and Normal Sugar. That's all it requires really, pretty simple actually. It is the best drunk food for french people and every french person (me included) knows How to Make Crêpes. I plan on starting a chain of crêperies in the States around college-y areas...so look out for that America.

[ The Pikachu above is what turned up on google when i searched "Lyon + Crêpes"...apparently this biosphere burger company puts edible PRINTS on your food. sooo cool. ]

In response to Madison's post of all things quotidien, this is my short European take on day-to-day tomfoolery (it's longer, too long... but slightly more exciting):
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2:00 pm : Wake Up. Look at my cellphone for the time. Go back to sleep.

2:15 pm : Wake Up for realz. Realize that the day's almost over and shit, I have three missed calls/texts

3:00 pm: Look mildly presentable and go out to scavenge for food.
----
3:15 pm : Eat a whole falafel and coke (which cost a total of 8 euros, the equivalent of $12 and consequentially counts for both breakfast, lunch, and maybe dinner) and feel very, happily stuffed.

4:00 pm : Walk around on the cobblestone narrow streets and wonder why I don't just live here forever.
----
4:30 pm : Try to find a Frenchman worthy of making my spouse.

4:45 pm : Realize there are just too many good looking men here that I could never pick just one. And continue to flirt with Number 13 in a mixture of romance languages to show off my cool and sense of elite

5:00 pm : Hit the bars with some mates (mostly on Mabillon street, probably "The Frog and Princess" English pub) for some barfood (which consists of cheesy nachos and buffalo wings) and Happy Hour prices (5 euros versus the usual 10 euro cocktail)
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6- 11 pm : Go to the club and dance with boys. Get asked if I would like a drink. Accept. Talk for a bit, say thank you, and politely excuse yourself to find your friends (but maybe exchange numbers if he was really a future possibility)

12 am : Get some crêpes. Maybe hit up that absinthe bar we always go to in the Bastille area.

1 pm : Decide if we should stay out until the metro reopens (5 am) or run to the metro which closes...Now.
----
2: 00 am : Missed the metro. Buy some illegally-bought 2 euro wine (no sales past 11 pm) and
go to the Seine to wait out the next 3 hours.

4: 00 am : Only one hour to wait. Everyone is drunk or hungover. Time seems to move at the pace of a dying snail.
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4:30 am : Less than a half hour to wait, but we are so damn tired and it is so unbearingly cold that we hail a taxi and go back to the hotel for some zzz's.

2:00 pm : Wake Up and "do it all over again".

halo congo drummer

wowee powee mr. contowwee, MADZ here...it's summer time and the livin's easy...well not really... mr. contaoi was this high school teacher all the girls swooned over.

Kimmy Wong is viva la france (It's actually "Vive la France"... or "allez la chatte" ;) ..ps i bolded words our general audience may not know and should look up in a dictionnaire)

and I, maddie, am viva la... two part time jobs, internship, and summer school? Hooray for being over-worked! and hurrah for your new haircut! it's SO camilla belle. and now joe's single so Get It Gurrl!

However, that is not the crux of this bloggy. I realized that neither Kim nor I have updated in a while, ('cept I just noticed Kim's ode to Mr. Michael Jackson, very telling and compelling Ms. Wong, I like). I write it like it is..nice use of rhyme

So anyways, my goal by the end of college is to have a "list" or an "open letter" published to Mcsweeneys, so I must write prolifically until I acheive said goal. Alas I am stymied, what to write? IDK (...my bff jill?). she means Kim. it's obvi code. So on the theme of maddie's-summer-is-actually-less-relaxing-than-the-school-year, I'm going to make a "day in the life" entry, or a "itinerary" of my day, because you all care what I did today...obvi, so.

Any given day for Madz this summer:
8:30 am: wake-up
8:45 am: check facebook and realize I have less than 3 new notifications, immediately feel sorry for myself. mostly from me...adds to the pity
8:47: Walk into the kitchen and try to remember the last time I had eggs for breakfast.
8:48: Decide I had eggs two days ago and thusly (this isn't a word) don't want to increase my cholesterol intake.
8:48 30 seconds: Eat cereal.
8:57 Check my email.
9:05 blow dry my hair and find something other than cut-off shorts that I can wear to work.
9:35 Drive to Beverly Hills
9:55 Make weird jokes with the middle aged hispanic valet guys at internship.
10:00-7:00 Stare at computer at internship. Ocassionally (mad SP alert) bind scripts together, transfer phone calls (sometime famous people! egads!) get coffee, burn DVD's, accidentally hang up on important people while I try to transfer a call, Get confused when I try to transfer a call, transfer a call to the wrong person, make mental notes to self that I should better learn how to transfer a call.
7:00 Drive home.
7:15 Arrive in westwood.
7:16 Have a headache
7:18 Force someone to hang out with me. me..
7:19 Make pasta
7:45 If aforementioned friend (me) does not feel pressure to hang out with me, then..I spend the rest of the night as follows
7:46 watch "True Blood" DVD's where? share the love.
8:46 Update my netflix queue. which she never shares with me
9:00 Pay off a parking ticket.
9:05 watch a movie on netflix
11:00 Feel sorry for myself and probably eat ice cream or take a shower. wait a scottish sec...we have ice cream? in the freezer? ..i'll be right back
12:00 go to bed.

I'm exaustingly lame. And you spelled exHausting wrong. sorry 'bout it.

beat it more than once, in honour of mj!

So it's weird living right by the UCLA medical center. I was on the shuttle back home when the bus driver stopped as a small crowd and crew of reporters crowded the new Reagan medical center.

"MJ is in the hospital due to cardiac arrest" said Driver Bill. Our doctor friends tell us he was probably gone by around 12 but that they kept him on the shockers til 3...(usually it is useless after about an hr and a half). It's sad to see such a huge american idol leave us.

My favourite memories will always be Mickey Jee as the scarecrow in The Wiz (musical version of wizard of oz)...along with my black keyboard i received as a kid that came with the Autosong "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" and a music book with THIS picture on the cover: (see above)

...CLASSIC JACK

To focus on a slightly brighter (though still bitter-sweet) side, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who has always been a hottie since his 3rd Rock from the Sun days is Still Awesome. According to non-reliable sources (aka wikipedia) he is Jewish and 28. In Da Punch terms, he's Quite Desirable (QD!).

"500 days of Summer" is a ridiculously true-to-life journey of changing jobs (following your passions) and falling for someone-liking them more than they will ever like you.

It's painful to watch due to the real-factor. The entire character of Tom goes through the slow meet, the crush, the set-up of knowing what he's getting into, the falling, and the crash. I wanted to cry in a slightly heart-pang-y way (as in the movie "UP") but my shoulder-buddy was not around so I managed to keep cool. My strings are still sore from being pulled, and relating to this movie is like going through those feelings all over again. Worth it, but sucky. Swurtky.

It's almost 2 am. Watch it, you won't regret it. And men, Zooey Deschanel is in it. And she looks the same, live, so...

HOLD ON TO YOUR GLOCKS!

Is that a chinchilla ...IN A BOWL?! (baby!) Tiny critter found covered in baking flour, scrambling the sides of a tupperware container while winking seductively.

...This is the perfect lede into our post of the morn! Many of our followers and secret stalkers (it's okay, we still love you) have been telling us that they really enjoy our twittering and that they think they can tell which one of is posting/when. Well well well, so you think you have us all figured out Do Ya?!

I guess you'll never Really Know ....but since we are very on and off about who posts next ('pick of the hat' MacGyver style (macgruber we've only got 4 minutes!)) here's a little hint.

These 2 sample tweets were by Kimberley:

The Room tonaahght. TONYBONES. MARKARK. SHANEMANE. RIGGSBIGS. and more. "hi doggie"

just arrived in da city of sins. kims bday tomoz

These posts, by Madison:

had a daydream about a lot of poodles. so chill. (true story.)

GIRL TALK last night. Dancing on the stage. TONIGHT - Maddie dancing at 7 in AGB for FAST Fashion Show. hayy (in case this is confusing, i was dancing on stage with girl talk. just fyi. jealous or whateva?)

abuse that as you may.

We are outskies,
Kimberley.. and Madison (the two compadres of Chinchilla Dome (ehh word choice kim?) Land)

...From the author of "if you give a pig a pancake, if you give a mouse a cookie, if you give a moose a muffin" comes "if you give a chinchilla a bowl of flour..." dun-dun duhhhhn!!

SPOCK

it's a pig's world

but seriously... you can blame McMadison for not updating the blog. s'Technically her 'turn' to write, but I will pick up her slack (as usual). In The News... please stay away from these swine! They may seem harmless & mildly "slow-loris"-like cute but gorsh durn they're like the mafia of farm animals and will do you in like they did in some mexicans and migrant workers (La eMe-style).

pff! PIG-disease...it's probably from all of that coffee they've been chugging down. Really now, Who gives a pig a cup o'joe? ...GILLY?!!

Pondering in the Wake of a Soon-to-Be Epidemic*,
*referring to the gilly+pig + coffee, not the already pandemic pig disease. (adendum 4/28)

Kimberley, M.D.