Best of '08

Maddie's Favourites from 2008! (i can vouch for that...minus #3)

1. The Jonas Brothers - obvi but not as much Kevin. poor sap

2. Twilight - I read it FASTER than Harry Potter! Not Possible!? Impossible! Harry is illiterate!

3. 30 Rock - Best comedy since Arrested Development in my opinion, even though Kim hates it :( It's true, i just can't STAND that show...but check out Summer Heights High (an awwesome Aussie show) or Ab Fab (British hilarity)!

4. Chuck Bass - Gossip Girl's scheming lothario. Ed Westwick, master of the dark arts

5. Robert Pattinson's Hair - his wavy locks match the color of Edward Cullen's eyes (err..twighlight reference..) until he cut it...I still prefer Jackson Rathbone

6. Circus - NOT Barnum and Bailey, but Britney Spear's comeback album that shrieks in pop ecstasy! not lil' wayne? what happened here?

7. Paul Rust - http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1634cf5f0f/idiot-authors-writing-tips-from-paul-rust Paul's live music and his dancing take the cake. He sounds like the lead singer of Hello Goodbye just a tad. Adorrrable man!

8. Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer - I Loved them before '08, and I'll never stop. "Just Two Guys" "jizz in my pants" "dick in a box" "the 'bu" "HOTROD" I want to marry all three! Ditto. You named quite a few Lonely Island gems. This is probably what makes us such good friends.


I can't think of anything else, and I need to watch BROMANCE! Can't Think?! Never! Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Marley and Me, Hotel for Dogs, Bolt, and every dog movie that recently came out in the past MONTH. 2008 marked the Year of the Dogs...plus it is when i created the memorable dog-call whilst wreaking party havoc...."DAAAAWWWGG!!!"

peas bumble bees ..the bird is still the word.
Madison. & Kimberley!

What's on Your Radio?

This is the offish radio post. Anytime we hear a good song, we'll post it HERE!

If you wanna sing out, sing out


Kimberley: Dec 27 08/ Blondie: "Heart of Glass". It reminded me of Of Montreal's "Wraith..."

christmas punch

This one's on us!

Merry Christmas Scrooge McDuck, (now you can jump into a large mountain of gold coins!)
Happy Hannukkah Jon Lovitz! (or Adam Sandler, just in time for "Bedtime stories")

I was youtub-ing the perfect video to send to a sexy friend in celebration of XMAS (aka The Little Drummer Boy video) and stumbled upon this little nugget of genius (did you give this to bitty! she collects nuggets).

If you're not familiar, the song is from Broadway's Avenue Q and the video is from Rankin/Bass' 1964 classic stop-motion tv special- i just love stop motion/claymation (me and lexi watched rudolph saves frosty with the help of jack frost on stop animation yesterday) .

In otherwords, it is a gift that can be regifted...more timeless than a diamond, Our present to you so... PASS IT ON.



Spiced Eggnog is gross,
Kimberley & Kimberley signing for Madison (madison here!)

(no coal please)

PUTS

This post is a bit more PG-13, kids, be forewarned. (if you can't handle rap, you can't handle this)

...can you kick it?? yes? YES you can?! Ladies and gents, put your paws up for PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS!


About three days ago, December 19th to be exact, underground hiphop G's Thes One and Double K of PUTS (peeps under stairs) rampaged on stage at the El Rey.

With Cut Chemist (Trivia: did you know that cut chemist, aka Lucas MacFadden, played the chemistry teacher in JUNO?), Ugly Duckling, & DJ Mark Luv on the lineup (subpar performances on all parties), L.A. rap (statistically targeting middle-class white fans)(white people LOVE rap music. According to "Stuff white people like" AKA my biography!) afficionados gathered round to appreciate/witness the prominent beat-droppers take hits (literally) on stage and play their chronology of song steppin' underground success.

It was long waiting for Cut Chemist to finish his set- doors opened at 830, PUTS (puts puts puts puts do you have it?) went on from 12-2ish-but plenty of time to hound down some booze and light up a joint, if you're into that sort of thing.

When lights dimmed, the curtains closed and reopened to reveal the drizzastic duo alongside random kids crackin' it up on stage to hype the already influence-induced crowd. The random accompaniment of stage-clan fans were sort of too much 'show' for the show, throwing both fries and people into the lack-of-moshing mosh.

Nonetheless, PUTS as anticipated Put-out for their fans as heads bopped, bodies jumped, & smoke filtered through the air.. the whole nine yds.

Samberg would say that This is an irresistible Raaap song (Raap song raap song dropping ones and fives and even TWOS!). Many blazed and enjoyed their ganja to said tune.This is probably one of their better-known ones:

Say What??:

My nigga Spliff was sippin' Becks, I'm slappin hands with Thes
Ok the shady spot so we can circulate the stress
Mary Jane invades my brain now I can't complain
I'm sayin what else is there to do besides relax
Let the problems in your mind become ancient artifacts
Perhaps these raps can help you alleviate
The things that's got you trippin, yo watch me demonstrate
First you ignore the nonsense and clear your conscience
Let your pen touch the paper write verbs and consonants
As the words become a sentence you start to feel indifferent
The stress is out your mind you feel like the weight was lifted
Terrific I'm glad we had this time to discuss
I'm outro call me if you want to blaze one up (uggg i hate weed songs)

K1
*with annotation by M1?

Welcome to the applewagon marley!

A couple weeks ago I was stalking some semi-famous people on facebook and I came across the facebook profiles of the less-impressive cast members of SNL (fred armisen, jason sudeikis etc) and I decided to add them as friends i tried to friend david maklovitch of Chromeo. They still haven't added me back however. This brings me to the topic of todays blog.

5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD SEE TWILIGHT EVEN IF YOU NEVER READ THE BOOKS OR THINK ITS GOING TO SUCK OR SOME OTHER REASON THAT IS KEEPING YOU FROM SEEING IT:

1. ROBERT PATTINSON: This is really a no-brainer. EVERY girl, and I mean EVERY girl had a crush on him when he played CEDRIC DIGGORY in Harry Potter drool worthy. Even the select few of us who lusted after Rupert Grint changed our minds and fell for the model-cherub-boy-wonder. He's practically Zac Efron 2.0 personally, i think Jasper (jackson rathbone) is much hotter. i'd doubletap that

2. So you can tell everyone how much you disliked Kristin Stewart:
As much as people cry themselves to sleep over Rob Pattinson, they equally loathe Kristin Stewart. She was that annoying hippie in INTO THE WILD, Jodie Fosters daughter in PANIC ROOM, and if you are as creepy as I am then you remember when she was in CATCH THAT KID with Corbin Bleu. Basically, she plays that same offputting, im so arogant, im squinting my eyes cuz I'm an actor, I was never on the disney channel - thing in every movie! It's horribly unbearable to watch on screen. You need to see twilight so when you complain about her, it's justified. you will especially hate her when rpatz pins her down on a boulder ever-so seductively

3. IT'S FUNNY:
It's funny because I don't think it EVER intended to be at all humerous. There are so many close up's of furrowing brows, exclamations of love (i.e. "You are my life now Bella" "you're like my own personal brand of heroin"), candid highschool dialgoue ("Hey Bella how do my boobs look in this dress?") etc etc. It takes itself so seriously. It's probably funnier than MARLEY AND ME, so see twilight instead. "wh-wha-what? nn noo, you..you..cccan't..luhluhleave me."

4. What other movie are you going to see instead?
REally? WHat are you going to see other than twilight? THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL? hardly. 4 CHRISTMASES? nix. What about one of those "oscar" films? MILK, GRAN TORINO, THE WRESTLER? psh. wasteful to see anything other than TWILIGHT. Bolt is always an option...

5. There are 3 more films in the franchise to be made:
If you don't see twilight you will be out of the pop culture loop for the NEXT 3 YEARS as they release the next three book-to-screen adaptations. If you don't see this movie you will be so confused why bella is upset in NEW MOON, or what's wrong with Jacob in ECLIPSE, or how it ends in BREAKING DAWN. You won't see Twilight, and then you wont see any of the future installments and then when everyone at work is standing around the water cooler and talking about that "vampire movie" you wont have anything to contribute. "how's life Fred?" "oh..it's you know, same ol. i've got the wife on my back about the kids, you know how it goes" (mutual cheesy laughter) "And there's nothing worse than not being able to make references to pop culture with your co-workers. "so, (insert your name here) what did you think of that new teen-movie Twilight? Fred and I just loved the realism. the acting was so believable." "It's definitely going to win multiple Golden Globe awards. So what did you think (insert your name here)? It's really the only thing you have in common with them anyways.

Celebrate christmas break by watching a really bad movie starring really hot vampires. It's the best $12 + popcorn, you will ever waste. taste.

Baby it's cold outside, grab yourself a cup of folgers, the best part of waking up!

Madison Vanderberg
Princess Kimberley of the Buttercream Castle I

for every exam, for every essay

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH!!!

Honest Sympathies,
Kimberley

Ed Westwick vs. Robert Pattinson?

Gratuitous image of brits. Rpatz and EdWestwick. (SWEET PRINCES, I WILL TAKE RPATZ, YOU CAN HAVE ED, then we'll trade off every other week only to be fair)

High School Musical 3 - in a nutshell

Kim and I just saw High School Musical 3 (we were the ONLY people in the theater) this is really the best way to watch a film ... and this about sums up the movie in a paragraph or so....

Close up on Zach efrons sweaty face. recycled basketball dance moves from the first movie! but so much more...zach and vanessa in a treehouse the nicest treehouse i've ever seen...with a roof that opens automatically WTF?!!, will they seal the deal? no! seal the deal! were in highschool! virgins! we're in a play...about highschool! lame! blah college, so much angst! we're in highschool! zach and vanessa dance in a garden - on the roof - vanessa CANT dance! did you SEE that attitude? so badly bent...ahh Prom, cuz we're in highschool! typical. Sharpae has TWO lockers and a GAY brothers but there's weird sexual tension! he acts straighter in this one however..ahhh incest and homosexuality! Corbin-Blue looks alot like a certain someone from UCLA! Im not naming names! i will! Ryan Harris?! More singing - about highschool! so much drama - about college! Zach climbs a tree, vanessae has a weird dream sequence about moving and all her picture frames disappear - then she goes to college!? WTF!? Zach and Corbin dance in a junkyard - horay for homoerotic undertones! it's not gay if it's about cars! Zach gets hella emo -goes to his highschool at night to dance? AT HIS HIGHSCHOOL (illegal) and WEARING ALL BLACK (typical emo hoodie and such. convenient use of lightning and thunder in the background. perfectly straightened hair) more gratuitous shirtess zach efron! Sharpae doesn't do anything! That weird piano girl hits on ZAch efron! get some! obvi she has a right to steal him if vanessa's character goes to stanford. even with a smaller distance, it will never work. Zach drives to stanford and climbs another tree! and jumps out of it!The skater boi dresses like a pimp and sings with sharpae! loved him. Zach and VAnessa get to the show just in time and repeat the same song - AGAIN! take my hand...i or something. Highschool! Everyone's happy and Zach goes to UC Berkeley? would he really get in? i don't even know if they have a basketball team. or a good drama program. he's a TOOL!The ENd....o and then the cast stares into the camera for an eerily long amount of time. BEST PART OF THE MOVIE

MADISON
kim - it's 2 am and i am commenting.

replacements!

SNL's newest cast members:

michaela watkins (yayeh) from groundlings and abby elliot (...) (I, madison, and absolutely furious about this new hire. She's not funny!!!) from ucb.

i'm excited about watkins (yah, she's pretty much genius...maybe a new Tina Fey!!?).

madison and I agree, however, that abby is a weaker choice than expected. perhaps this seems too harsh. i revoke the "weaker" and will say, rather "interesting".

Sure she may look good on camera and may be able to do a fairly good angelina jolie, kirsten dunst, and drew barrymore impression but other than that... ;-/ ... : - ... 8 - ( ... :'[ ... emo-emoticon pressure is ON.

in other news, madtv will be canceled. R.I.P. (luckily we saw one of the last episodes ever LIVE)

in further news, i can't wait to see "BOLT", the dog movie. I hope it's better than "Bevery Hills Chihuahua" though I'm sure it won't come close to "Firehouse Dog"!!

fondly,
-kimberley
(and...madison (i cant stand abby elliot) vanderberg)
no hard feelings.

movie ideas?

Sooo I'm one of those people that always go "omg, I have this idea for a movie...blah blah blah," then I write one sentence about it in my moleskine (i'm partial to the whole you-need-a-moleskine to be artsy and-or successful mentality). One of these days I'm actually going to write these movies, but untill then...I will blog about it and revel in my creative nothingness.



one-two line synopses for random ass movies...(spoiler alert: These are VERY cheesy and not to be taken seriously) (aka you take them seriously, but if we don't like them, at least you can say "i told you so")



1. A reclusive and loner girl decides to audition for the traveling circus when she becomes smitten with the lion tamer. (story of my life?)



2. An highschool virgin decides to sell his V-card on Ebay. In his quest to de-flower himself and pursue potential bidders, he is stalked by tranny, is almost assaulted by a department store santa, and reluctantly falls in love with a strange girl. (let's film this one!)



3. Jamie stalks crime scenes so that she can be relocated as a member of the witness protection program. As this neurotic and unstable girl changes cities monthly she completely changes her identity each time too. How long before something (or someone) causes her to stay in one place for good?



4. In the Sci-fi thriller, Meredith's husband died months after their wedding. She decides to clone him and carry the pregnancy. She raises her "husband" as her son but soon falls in love with him again and tries to deal with the taboo and oedipal nature of this relationship.



5. Two chronically single best friends make a bet with one another for who can find a boyfriend first. But the catch is, they can ONLY use online dating services. (ahahah worst movie ever!) (don't lie, you love this idea)



6. Jenny is 35 and has never moved out of her parents home. She is seriously socially demented, afraid of people, and has never had a job but she lusts after the strapping young UPS worker that comes by her house. Because of her newfound "crush" on Lenny the UPS guy, Jenny is determined to move out and get Lenny to fall in love with her. (oh Lenny! Is this the Lenny you've been talking about Madison?)



7. In this screwball dark comedy, 5 best friends from Highschool go on a roadtrip together after graduation. Everything seems like your typical indie film about a roadtrip until one of the friends goes bat-shit-insane and starts killing everyone off.

7. A super lame girl named Maddie needs to finish her Comm paper by tommorow while resisting the urge to blog.





That's All Folks!

(Idea 4 and 7 have unfortunately already been made. Keep it up, you have a bright future ahead of you George!)

Madison Vanderberg (Commentary provided by your Friendly Neighbourhood Kimberley)

art installment

Louise Bourgeois is at the MOCA. The 96 Parisian (and still alive!) could not make it to the greater L.A. herself, but her oeuvres d'art have been stirring about. Everything from spiders to adultery, to tapestry factories, a bad childhood and her father's mistress speaks through in her works and are the latest talk of the town.

I attended the "Members Only" advanced preview on Saturday for which we had exclusive Invite Only entrance, which was a cup of delight! Not merely to the winebar free-loader or the middle-aged trend monkey but for any abstract artist, curious cat, or lover of the surreal. Just a forwarning, many a phallus sprung to the ceiling, sculptures of huge bronze spiders entrapped a bed, and vaginal symbolism signified Bougeois' anxieties and her nightmarish growing up.

A mixture of latex on bronze covered the sexual ambiguities and social implications of the feminine and masculin identities and repeated throughout many of her pieces-"fillette" made a blunt statement to the girl-boy gender struggle. One resembled a 'pig-in-a-blanket' another 'two yams interfolded'. There were many marble egg-eye-tip pieces called "cumulus", which I perceive as another relationship & sexual working- one in particular backlit in red drew many a paf. Other than the french man that followed me around every single oeuvre, trying to engage me in conversation with...his eyes, two amateurs beside me said "It's too abstract, screw it" and moved on.

I personally enjoyed the charcoal house with legs drawing, the cast-iron leg sculptures hung from the ceiling (vastly overlooked), the "7 in a bed pink" fabric dolls and most of all, "Arch of Hysteria"- the gold torso hanging and bent in a backward thrust. I walked 180 'round this hot mess. The female as a house and vagina like in her "femme-maison" was powerfully suggestive of the patriarchal dominance and the role in which the female is confined to and appears in modern society.

Realize that this avant-garde art is not for everyone. If you choose to go just for kicks and giggles, make sure you don't creep on innocent art-admirers... we can see what you're looking at and it is most definitely not art for art's sake.

As you exit, be sure to check out Kippenberger's retrospective exhibit "the Problem Perspective" for faux-photos, the fake-log pipes and magnifying glass painting collection. Watch out for the rusty-looking car with it's lights on, and the shady man beside it who may or may not ask you (as he did I) whether "this is your car?" followed by "i'm going to have to write you up for this, you can't be parking here". Nice try creeper #2, but i'm two questions in and walking five steps out the door.

Allez, Kimberley


To the right is my own artwork. The inspiration? A man with a pipe -you never see this!- on campus reading his book. I could only think of Beard Papa and how much I hate that mascot. Seen is my anxiety toward said papa who needs a good beating from someone who cares. What the heck is a Beard Papa anyway and why would anyone choose to eat such a cream puff! I will never step foot in that eatery. EVER!

d'oh

aye babies, it's Maddie...

For the past year I've been really obsessed with covers of pop/hip-hop/rap songs.

Basically, if some emo slash acoustic guitar-y guy covers anything from 90's popular music or mainstream rap it is the coolest ever.

Below in list (obvi) format are some noteworthy covers. They are not the best nor my favorites, but im hella bored and I've already watched tonight's sneak peek of "30 rock" and so I have nothing else to do so I'm just gonna go on youtube and search for rando covers even tho it's a thursday night but it's ok because im sort of sick so that's my excuse for why I'm not going out and instead I'm blogging. BAY AREA!!!

1. Paper Planes - MIA


Ok, this guy, he's like "O I'm so hip because not only do I listen to super indie british amazon beats like M.I.A but I can rearrange the music and play it on my guitar bro, o and also, I have another guitar just sitting there too because I'm so cool because I have TWO guitars. I'm such a musician! Also, I'm wearing this super bro trucker hat. PUNK'D!"

2. Ice Box - Omarion



So these guys are "Boyce Avenue" (Thanks Stephen for introducing me to such gems) and are pretty much the most legit when it comes to ironic covers. Basically I'm just obsessed with the original version of "icebox," so a cover is like christmas in July. When the music video came out I pretty much watched it like every second because the choreography was the baddest. Good job Boyce Avenue!

3. Idioteque - Radio Head


remember when everyone told you to watch that youtube video of that guy with the beard doing a cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya"? Welps, it's the same guy and he is from the band Obadiah Parker. I also just really like that they are playing in front of a "quiznos". haha suburban parking lot show?!

4. Word Up - Cameo


So the video is completely gratuitous. ahhah. These are some random girls dancing to the Willis cover of "Word Up." Why did I choose a dance video and not some other you ask? Because... three years ago I did the most ballinest dance to this song with the stellar dancer Dee Caspary and I will go to my grave with the remembrance of that dance, that being said, these girls are doing a sham of a job re-creating the genius that Mr. Caspary created long ago. ulch puhleasseee!

Happy Arbor Day Northern Hemisphere,

Madison V.

N&N's

Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist is my new Juno, except now I'm totally over Juno because it's so lame or pretentious or whatever else everybody is hating about it nowadays.... (eew, ellen page)

I knew I was going to be obsessed with N&N the second it appeared on Michael Cera's IMDB page, (yes, I obsessively haunt the scrolls of IMDB checking up on my favorite bird-like imp) (aka hottie MC). Once I saw he had been cast as Nick, and that the movie was an adaption of a novel I rushed to the nearest Barnes and Noble (the one across from main place that we all went to during highschool!!!) (oh-shaah). I had anticipated buying the book, but since it was no larger than three issues of People magazine, I just read it in the store.

The book was kindof lame bonez, but I knew Cera would not disappoint on the silverscreen.

"Nick and Nora" tells the story of two "star crossed lovers" who share 24 hours in bliss and discouragement on a rampant search for their favorite band and Nora's drunken BFF. Plans go awry, people fall in and out of love, boys in skinny jeans make witty jokes, etc etc. (well said)

BUT what resonates the most in N&N's is it's simplicity and sheer "Oh how cute"-ness. Many a time I found myself shrieking in delight at every word out of Cera's mouth. If you thought he was endearing in Arrested Development and adorable in Juno, then you might just pee your pants at how painfully precious this plucky polly can purr (I really just wanted to take a stab at alliteration). (please put pasta on my plastic plate...eh..)

Some highlights are a couple of cameos (very brief) by some current SNL members. Get excited!

AND Kat Dennings is not super annoying. I was really encouraging myself to dislike her (Ahem...Ellen Page) (OMG LIAR! Madison loved Ellen Page until I made a convincing argument against it), buttt she's really good!!! (you said she's pretty)

If you enjoyed Charlie Bartlett, Before Sunrise, or the first time you saw Juno...then you will probably enjoy Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist!!!

kickin' it maverick style,

Madison Vanderberg

(BUT WAIT! you left out MY favourite part of the movie, the hot stereotypical jewish club-hoppers...look out for their new CD!)

untill the MEGA-post...

So...satisfy yourself with this until I write something good...

I recently/finally saw the 90's film, "The Crow" - with the late Brandon Lee (pictured right) (left?), and was totally dumbfounded with the many similarities between this movie and "The Dark Knight." (split screen shown above) (that movie was balls-out!)

Ledger's Joker not only looked alot like Brandon's Crow, but his delivery, dialogue, and maniacal tom-foolery (oh tom...) were almost identical, except I think Ledger's performance is more nuanced in some degrees.

Additionally, "The Crow" takes place in a fictional city very much like "Gotham" city and the police constantly use verbiage such as, searching for a "dark vigilante" who is "creating chaos/disorder." (both very visual and visceral verbs)

I don't think Nolan or Ledger stole from "The Crow", but the similarities are hard to ignore AND I'm not the first person to notice this (obvi), I did some "research" (stalking) and found many a site dedicated to these two films. And Sadly, both Ledger and Lee died prematurely at the age of 28 during or after filming on both these movies.

I promise a very fluffy/superficial Maddie-style blog in the near future most likely covering disney channel or gossip girl! (let's go see Where's Fluffy! Tonight! behind the trashcan next to the hobo in the tree!)

Ridiculously yours,

Madison. (dawggggz!)

manhandling

I thought it would be cool as cuc. to wall-war cheesy pickup lines on Madison's f-book profile. Feel free to add us to your 'friends' list as we both reap benefits of seeming popularity. Now as for manhandling, I absolutely adore a man who can handle his words so eloquently (man-hand-ling) like the dance of a dozen doves driving down dips of doom (or the dive of a dapper dervish, delighting in a daunting dream)

Specifically what I had in mind was the brilliant idea to create rave-friendly lines which one may drop in concurrence with E. For those getting their colourful candy and light-shows ready 'fore the next Monster Massive (we might hit up Hard) be sure to check out said lines on our facebook wall-walls. It's the only place you will find them (on blogue we keep it P & G- for playas n' gangstas. Refer to R for ravers here)

The following are a combination of the cr
ême de la cr
ême, or as I like to call it, the best worst lines I found within the minute.

User Debbie, from one anonymous blog posted this handy advice for "young ladies":

Debbie said...

I advise young ladies to try the following line: "Do you need to borrow a sewing kit? Because you're so ripped." Based on my knowledge of the male psyche, I assume that this will sweep a desirable bachelor off his feet.

This one was a personal favourite: Somebody call Animal Control because I just spotted a fox! (this is my favorite!)

I'll end with one of my own: (it helps if you put on a 'hood accent.(ooo, i love doing this!) if you find yourself marking the checkbox to "stuff white people like" on white men trying to act gangster, perhaps you should consult Madison. word on the row is that she loves these types (what!?!? not true. ?)

"Oo Boy! You so fine, you finer than a Montrachet 1978 bottle of wine" (the perfect man would say such poetry)

If you fit the tee, simply use this line after culturing yourself, please.

Warm Prospects,
Kim "Brr" ley

short & easy

Here's the skinny: do not see "The Women". Other than its disgrace to the play (and apparently the '39 film) (which is really nothing like the movie), the director is quite the novice and the entire movie in itself is a mess. To save you from wasting a $9 matinee ticket, i'll just tell you that the movie ends in a low-angle shot of a newborn baby being carried in the arms of a nurse reminiscient of the messiah-stork situation (when did Jesus and a stork ever appear in the same situation?). If my description seems intriguing, I've deceived you quite thoroughly and apologize for it.

Perhaps the aesthetics of the cinematography or fashion can be appreciated like the overbearingly gaudy cloud wallpaper background of the janky ol' hospital, or the z-gallerie house that Meg Ryan resides in (much like r. crowes house in "body of lies," I swear it was the same house), but other than that VERY LITTLE BIT OF LIGHT, the movie is a complete Era of Darkness to which one never recovers. Madison liked it for it's ridiculous nature (though refuses to admit) (I admit, re: my last post, I honestly appreciate most crappy films. "The Women" provided me with the same sort of glow that did "Homer in Cyberspace" ), however, I strongly recommend that if it's inevitable that you watch it, see the play first and then the movie if not simply to bitch about how bad of a job Director Diane English did.

She could have done so much more with the script. The original play itself is a satire on wealthy women and their social routines, not to mention drives feminist empowerment (an all-woman cast). Ok, I'll admit I did the play back in high school, but it was hugely a success and I had dads and men who you would't have expected enjoying the play and finding it refreshing to see the woman's point of view. This, however, is all a moot pt.

Instead Jada Pinkett Smith plays a lesbian which is minorly entertaining borderline trying-too-hard (ulch her attempt at comedy was painful to watch re: the hospital scene), Eva Mendes plays the one role she knows how (the slutty eye-candy), while Annette Benning and Debra Messing rely on being the slightly comedic best friends (These two were horribly underwhelming. Messing should have just reprised her "Will & Grace" role, it would have been funnier than what she attempted). To be honest, Bette Midler's many-times-divorced-but-doesn't-give-a-damn Hollywood agent character is the best part. Ryan and Benning have a cute scene in which they argue and end up crying and laughing about it, but other than 3 decent parts, the movie is a no-go.

I'm not even providing links or pictures in this blog. Negative 2 punches.

R.I.P. Clare Boothe Luce (nice out),
Kimberley
and....Madison (I have class in 5 mins!!)

relativity, my dear watson

Sometimes I forget that everything is relative. Today's blog is about sports (blah!) (gross) since we've yet to see some real man action on this blog. I was working with my french coworker (everyone there is, in fact, french) and in walks an almost-bald somewhat charming-looking man about 6 feet tall (probably less, but I was sitting). I stared at him curiously because at this point my coworker was bumbling about trying to help him find exactly what he needed (information for his friend who just moved to town). Little did I know, this being is some sort of futbol god to french. He won the 1998 FIFA world cup for her country (Soccer is huge in europe). This is him: (see bald guy in middle).

This short-lived memory really got me thinking about sports, arts, and the overarching theme of interests in general. For example, if Madison met Bob Fosse we might have to put her in an insane asylum. If I met Baryshnikov or my dad's long-time hero Jackie Chan, we'll call it a very-good day. However, give me a famous soccer star like Frank Leboeuf or an All-Star quarterback and good luck getting so much as an 'oh that's...cool' from me. (If I met michael phelps i'd probably eat my hand. fact. )

Were it basketball or hockey, I might blink my eyes in pseudowonderment, but football...really? Even UCLA players like "Pat Cowan" who is apparently a quarterback? for our team gets people pretty shakey. Not I, said the cat. (ulch collegiate athletes)

I suppose it remains that people should always remember that their interests are never the same, and what might be a scientist's gem for some could be just another Picasso for the uncultured. ...especially during his Blue Period. (perfect outro!)

Kim bar lee

mad eye son

but really...

I apologize for my absence (absinthe?) Kim has been like crazy updating (too much, really), I can't keep up...anyways...so last night I was having a conversation with a friend over why I avidly consume such tragic television programming such as "90210" "Gossip Girl" and "The Hills." (i think this post makes up for "lost time"*)

I am no casual target audience (cocktail waiters, millionaires, heirs to family fortunes), I have seen every episode of these shows(except "the hills." I've only completely watched seasons 1, 3 and 4) and I experience something similar to withdrawal symptoms as I wait for new episodes. (too true. I saw her cringing in the corner cradling a life-sized version of Spencer)

So then I decided to reevalute my tastes and basically I realized that I like things that are really really bad. As in crappy movies, bad dialogue, romantic comedies, 80's commercials, home shopping networks, mcdonalds...etc (we have similar tastes...don't forget about Cats the musical)

This appreciation of all things janky (good w.c.*) can be sorted into two categories:

1. So bad that it's a work of genius

or

2. So bad that some 14 year olds in suburban areas will genuinely appreciate it.

Here are a list of my favorite #1-type lame-fests

-"The Dark Crystal"


I am eerily obsessed with anything created by Jim Henson...but this movie is just ridiculous. My little sister used to watch this movie like everyday for a couple years when she was like 8. This movie is not quite the masterpiece that is "The Labryinth" but it comes in a close second. Ohhh I heart you Mr. Henson and your bizarre sense of everything! (I love kerms)

-"The Worst Witch"


Tim Curry. Horrible FX. British Accents. What could be better? (can we stay in and watch this on all hallows eve?)

-1980's McDonalds Commercials


When I was younger I used to watch old video tapes of random TV shows my parents watched in the 80's, but not for the content of the television programming, I would watch to see the commercials.

I love commercials from the 80's! I also love McDonalds! Nobody likes Mcdonalds, commercials, or the 80's! I love everything! This is so beautiful it sucks! (this is genius at it's finest, actually)


Now here are some of my favorite..."so bad but people who watch the disney channel will appreciate it"-type stuff

- "Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County"


Newport Harbor is the less rich, fame-whoring little sister of Laguna Beach. It's a spin-off of a spin-off. sort of?

Those who thought Laguna Beach was an embarassment to youth culture, probably think that The Hills is a pathetic and voyeuristic (*see below) exploitation of banality, but with Newport Harbor these same people might be driven to acts of homicide.

It has less attractive people, super lame drama, vague attempts at "scripting" scenarios which just get confusing, and not nearly rich enough kids. ulch...so rewarding!

-Hannah Montana


obvi.

-"Brink"


Back in it's heydey, Disney used to churn out one DCOM (disney channel original movie) each month. Some of the progenitors (Johhny Tsunami, Zenon, Motocrossed) were seriously captivating, soon Disney started making too many "fluffy" DCOM's (the thirteenth year, luck of the irish, eddies million dollar cook-off) and it started going downhill.

But BRINK represents the best of the worst when disney was still making good bad good movies..? what?

...besides who doesn't love Eric von Detten ("escape to witch mountain" anyone?) (what a dream) annnddd that dude that played that bully rollerblader was recently the "wildcard-beauty" contestant on Beauty and the Geek. How sad to see a former disney channel starlett on reality TV... : (



Congratulations to those who read the whole thing... (we appreciate you!)

obsessively yours,
Madison

(* time does not exist
*word choice
*A voyeur is:

1. A person who derives sexual gratification from observing the naked bodies or sexual acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point.

2. An obsessive observer of sordid or sensational subjects.)

Paranthetically, Kimberley

chia pets are the worst pets

...FACT. Plus I always thought that Chia Pets would be full of dirty little seeds and wet grass (not that I've ever owned one). Whoever owns a Chia Pet should be slapped in the face for buying such tasteless tv goulash. Get yourself a nice-looking fish and call it a day. Or if you absolutely must, maybe you can put Mr. T on your windowsill! (i think there should be chia bling...like gold chains with chia "grass" growing on dollar signs)

All of this chia-nonsense came about from HAIR. (when I was 10 I did a tap dance to "aquarius." ) I'm not sure why I was browsing 'hair' on youtube but I guess, anything to pass the time.

I advise you to skip to around 1:40, which is the juicier bits (though maybe I'm just easily entertained). If i find any other vids, I'll keep you posted . For now, this and then google "HARD GAY". It's not what you think, I swear...

Conservatively*, Kimberley

*this in response to "Hard Gay", no political affiliation intended ..and Madington

(this reminds me of "full metal jacket" which I prefer)

your arrow-loop into politics

Last time I read the news, the polar bears in Japan's zoo were still green from algae (Sept. 8, to be exact-BBC News). I don't know why I did it, but I browsed google images for a picture of green bear and out popped this little guy: >>>>

Since when do bears wear bowties and tophats?
On their way to work in Geneva, of course!

Silliness aside, it should be noted that I also like checking up on the Huffington Post once in a while and I prefer BBC to CNN. If you're more of a wide-eyed fresher, here are some professorial opinions on the latest election.

As for Sarah Palin's emails getting hacked, peep these screenshots. According to BBC News:

"Mrs Palin is being investigated in Alaska for alleged abuse of power while governor of the state."

This definitely hurts her cred (all irony aside) & I'm anxious to see what next week' s SNL will look like. As for personal emails, I sympathize slightly with having her email hacked (i imagine it's something like having your friends hack into your facebook account), it just sucks.

And maybe it's the skeptic in me, but I find it fishy that hackers were able to change the password with Yahoo to 'popcorn' of all things. That's the best they could come up with? I think the media lied to us somewhere...

As if that wasn't enough, the newspeople are calling the hackers "hacktivists" from a Scientology group.

UGH!

For juicier scandal and less politics, try this tranny and make sure to check out the latest Jobros gossip.

Signed Fondly (archaic),
Kimberley

living forever is a lot like...

MGM's remaking the '80s hit "Fame" !

The movie is about musically talented kids doing hoodrat things. Fame is pretty much the highschool experience of a lifetime! (our alma mater pales in comparison). Put your leg-warmers on and tell your agent you want an audition!

Kimberley (Chumscrubber) Wong

hot handle!

You know the drill. Commentary in Italics. Today's epi by Ms. Wong, annotation by Mad-berg.

This just in! Center Stage 2: Turn It Up comes to the tele in Nov '08. (straight to tele? ahh! wait? I wanted to audition for this :( boo...) That's just two months away! (punch it). Unlike Bring It On: In it to Win, CS2 is something to look forward to. (the newest installment is actually called "Bring it On: Cinco."Just fyi...)

I for one have swooned over Ethan Stiefel in the first movie where we learned that ballet = sex. (obvi) But now he's an aged 35-some (I did the wikimath) and doubt arises as to whether he can still do the splits while consummating (i.e. has he still got the sperm)? Certainly, yes.



Do yourself a favour and rent Center Stage #1. I have my two copies on VHS! Or if you'd prefer, there's a hilarious in-depth synopsis written by a natural Borowitz. Here's to taste:

"To ease Jody's stress, Eva decides that she and Charlie, Erik, and Sergi will take her out. They go to a salsa club where Jody and Charlie dance and flirt while Sergi gets hit on by an old barfly"

"Meanwhile, Jim meets Maureen outside ABA and asks her out. (ulch, I loathed Maureen, remember what a swizzed up bz stick she was? ulch, and like threw up her food on that boat or whatever. And Jim was like super cute. so annoying) She accepts. Jody goes to take a dance class somewhere else in New York, because she is tired of taking criticism for her ballet dancing. (yah, she had perfect turnout, great feet, but didn't fit the archetypal ballet body.)During the Broadway dance class, Cooper comes in to assist/dance. (actually, he kinda "crashed" the class. In the non-movie version of this dance studio, a act like that would be frowned apon. Class etiquette really.) After the class, Cooper convinces Jody to come back to his place for "dessert"*. They drink wine. They have sex. (this was so unbelievable...everyone knows male ballet dancers aren't straight.)"

*My lifelong fantasy is to attend a similar workout led by Cooper Nielson followed by "dessert".

SYNOPSIS HERE

Kimberley

(hey kim remember when we imdb-ed Ethan Stiefel recently and discovered he was super old and living with a man?)

betta

Madison-made with Kim in the drumline..

One of my favorite pastimes. "Translating" ebonics into a more standard form of English!
(I see you're well versed in "Stuff White People Like")

Original Lyrics:
Shawty wanna thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
You know I like to touch
Ya lovely lady lumps
She She lick me like a lollipop


Translation:
The beautiful woman wants to engage in some compromising situations. (Coug's gonna git sum t'night!)
The club currently is stocked with Alchohol. (Smirnoff Ice to be precise)
The aforementioned female also enjoys sexually immoral acts
I am inclined to approach her
more specifically, her posterior region (and frontal protusions)
Her interactions with me are similar to the way she consumes a candy treat. (you're a natural Eminem)

Madison (wrote a lengthier blog then decided against it) V.
(cue the snare)

ughhhh

Original Madison (square garden! commentary courtesy of Kimberley)

5 reasons why the Jonas Brothers are cooler than anyone you know (Raviv Ullman excluded):

1. They move their own furniture. (Pff...I built my own desk)



2. They wear "painted-on" jeans. (Will the stylist for the Jonas Brothers please contact us if you're for hire? Surrsly)

http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/jonas-brothers-2007-miss-teen-usa-dress-rehearsal-0CzLbS.jpg

3. They are "funny" ? (naaghht)



4. They dated Hannah Montana! ( ILLEGAL!)

5. They register to vote. (Palin for VP?)

http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-11-declare-yourself


Ulch...I make myself vomm... (This doesn't come close to the JoBro's Special Collector's People Edition...)

obviously yours,

Madison (can't wait for the miley cyrus list!) Vanderberg (and I can't wait 'til Joe's fairgame)

A Test for Madison

Dear Madison,

It has come to my attention that on this day, Tuesday, September 16, 2008 at approximately 11:00 pm you've given up all hope and hoopla on the editing of our shared blog. As co-bloggeur, I feel it is in the best interest of our business to inform you about the two essential not-so-given processes of blog editing.

Firstly, when posting a photo on "da punch" one must pay careful attention to the icons listed above the editor page: (click the grassy knoll and follow the instructions)

And now for a video: ( i have added the "embedded" link to the post, simply as is. No need to click on any icons)

If any other problems occur or if confusion refuses leave, please see me at your soonest convenience. I am merely a jaunt 'cross the living room. Should you wish to discuss the genius of Kevin Bacon's fancy footwork, I am willing and able to do so as you are reading this.

Yours in Honesty.

Kimberley

1st to punch

A Kimberley Original...(commentary by Madison)

4 Punches/ 5.
Recommendations: Just watch the movie!

With an all-star cast whose characters experience rather ironic misfortune, the Coen's have successfully 'nipped the cat in the butt' (snubbed the dogg in the arse) with their comedic writing and overflow of cliché story arches in their latest endeavor
"Burn After Reading".

Forget about Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand), the main character who pretty much drives the entire movie along. Though she may be adopted by a Canadian Minister (the actress), McDormand's Litzke was not the focus in terms of grabbing sympathies. She was the only character who got what she wanted in the end. (she was actually my favorite character : ) )

Brad Pitt, however, plays Chad Feldheimer, a happy-go-lucky simpleton who gets so helplessly entrapped in fellow gym employee Litzke's C.I.A. conspiracy that he ends up in a tragic accident.

Just as joyful, George Clooney's Harry Pfarrer brings out the paranoid sex-maniac in us all. (really?) However, some of his choices weren't as strong as the two Cox's- the twitch he took on in the beginning is annoyingly lost four or five scenes into the movie.

Tilda Swinton's Katie Cox comes across as intended. She is a convincingly severe bitch, like the Ice Queen character she played in Narnia. Perf. (hahah)

My favourite character though, belongs to actor John Malkovich. From the satin robe and pampered upbringing to his unforgiving douchebagerie, the pretentious soon-to-be ex C.I.A. and husband Osborne Cox steals the show in a sizable manner, one scotch at a time.

This comedy is all about detail and Malkovich's bourgeois tone and not-so-subtle delivery wins Best Portrayal of Every Alcoholic Rich Guy You've Seen In A Movie In A While. (I barg to differ...the use of "fuck" was uncharacteristic of many a celluloid drunk i've ever seen) And of course the Coens tie every relationship together so ridiculously soap-opera well that audiences (at least three in the theatre) will be tickled throughout.

It's all about the Drama. So - Much - Drama. (shout out to the 'yay) With this 2008 Summerbuster, Coen's pay tribute to decades of film form and in doing so mock the mould of cinematic history in the face.

Look out for the best scene of the movie when Clooney yells "SPOOKS!". I really can't get enough of it. (and the missing coat label. OHHHHH! Get excited!)

And if you've already seen the best-scene-ever, refer to the snippet below reminiscient of said glory:Veuillez agréer, Monsieur, l'expression de mes sentiments distingués.
(I hate French!!!!)

Kimberley

day 1

Rule 1: we will never talk about our day (unless crazy shit went down) i.e. bums fighting

Kimberley will frequently write about fash/poli/mus and occasional astrology.

Madison will most likely make a lot of lists about the Jonas Brothers, and occasionally jitneys.

Rule 2: Get Buck!

Rule 3: We accept all major credit cards, including travelers cheques.

xoxo Gossip Girl